Emma Self-Knowledge and Personal Growth Quotes

How she could have been so deceived! – He protested that he had never thought seriously of Harriet – never! She looked back as well as she could; but it was all confusion. She had taken up the idea, she supposed, and made every thing bend to it. His manners, however, must have been unmarked, wavering, dubious, or she could not have been so misled.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 16. Emma’s overactive imagination and her significent propensity for self-deception come back to bite her. In the world of her imagination, she realizes that she dreamed up a match for Harriet with Mr. Elton. She admits to making everything fit that fantasy, or “bend to it.” The realization of this hits her when Mr. Elton proposes to Emma instead of Harriet. And so Emma starts out on her journey of self-discovery and personal growth, as she starts to recognize her own flaws.

The first error and the worst lay at her door. It was foolish, it was wrong, to take so active a part in bringing any two people together. It was adventuring too far, assuming too much, making light of what ought to be serious, a trick of what ought to be simple. She was quite concerned and ashamed, and resolved to do such things no more.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 16. For the first time Emma becomes aware of her mis-matchmaking, as she realizes that she might have misjudged Mr. Elton’s intentions. This is after Mr. Elton declares his love for Emma and proposes to her in the previous chapter. Never having considered Mr. Elton as a romantic partner, she had been convinced that he was courting her friend Harriet. Having attempted to matchmake Mr. Elton and Harriet, Emma realizes her own blindness and has to reexamine her own actions and feelings. The quote marks an important step on her journey from an over-confident meddler in other people’s romantic lives to a more mature woman who knows that love must be allowed to grow naturally. But old habits die hard and Emma never fully overcomes her desire to make matches for others.

She was, in fact, beginning very much to wonder that she had ever thought him pleasing at all; and his sight was so inseparably connected with some very disagreeable feelings, that, except in a moral light, as a penance, a lesson, a source of profitable humiliation to her own mind, she would have been thankful to be assured of never seeing him again.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 22. We witness a turning point for Emma as she experiences a moment of self-awareness and growth. She recognizes how badly she can misread people and the missteps she has made in her matchmaking. Her judgment of Mr. Elton’s character was way off the mark, she now realizes. Far from being the pleasant man she had thought, he is in fact very disagreeable.

“This is very true,” said she, “at least as far as relates to me, which was all that was meant – and it is very shameful. – Of the same age – and always knowing her – I ought to have been more her friend. – She will never like me now. I have neglected her too long. But I will shew her greater attention than I have done.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 34. Emma regrets her past behavior towards Jane Fairfax, admits that it was shameful and promises to pay her more attention in the future. It is a significant moment of self-realization for Emma.

Every thing was to take its natural course, however, neither impelled nor assisted. She would not stir a step, nor drop a hint. No, she had had enough of interference. There could be no harm in a scheme, a mere passive scheme. It was no more than a wish. Beyond it she would on no account proceed.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 39. Has Emma learned her lesson about the perils of matchmaking? When faced with her latest potential scheme of trying to match Harriet with Frank Churchill, she decides to let love and marriage take their natural course. But then she talks of there being no harm in a “mere passive scheme” and “a wish.” When does a passive scheme turn into the meddling and interfering in others’ lives that led to disastrous results in the past? For Emma old matchmaking habits die hard.

She was vexed beyond what could have been expressed – almost beyond what she could conceal. Never had she felt so agitated, so mortified, grieved, at any circumstance in her life. She was most forcibly struck. The truth of his representation there was no denying. She felt it at her heart. How could she have been so brutal, so cruel to Miss Bates! How could she have exposed herself to such ill opinion in any one she valued! And how suffer him to leave her without saying one word of gratitude, of concurrence, of common kindness!…Emma felt the tears running down her cheeks almost all the way home, without being at any trouble to check them, extraordinary as they were.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 43. Emma takes to heart Mr. Knightley’s criticisms of her for insulting Miss Bates at the Box Hill picnic outing. Harsh and painful words of truth from a faithful friend are enough to cause her to break down and cry most of the way home. She is angry at herself and deeply remorseful because of the cruelty of her behavior. The passage shows how Emma is growing and maturing. Her thoughtless remarks at Box Hill mark a turning point in her self-awareness and realization of how she misreads and misperceives people and situations. One of the few people in a position to point out these flaws is her neighbor and friend since her childhood, the older and wiser Mr. Knightley.

The wretchedness of a scheme to Box Hill was in Emma’s thoughts all the evening…If attention, in future, could do away the past, she might hope to be forgiven. She had been often remiss, her conscience told her so; remiss, perhaps, more in thought than fact; scornful, ungracious. But it should be so no more. In the warmth of true contrition, she would call upon her the very next morning, and it should be the beginning, on her side, of a regular, equal, kindly intercourse.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 44. Emma feels very remorseful over her humiliating treatment of Miss Bates during the Box Hill gathering. Mr. Knightley’s admonishment of her behavior is still very much in her thoughts. She accepts that she was “scornful” and “ungracious.” So she resolves to call on Miss Bates the next morning, to visit her regularly and be kinder to her in the future.

Emma was most sincerely interested. Her heart had been long growing kinder towards Jane; and this picture of her present sufferings acted as a cure of every former ungenerous suspicion, and left her nothing but pity.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 44. When Emma calls to see Miss Bates, she discovers that Jane Fairfax is unwell. This passage indicates a major change in Emma’s feelings towards Jane. Her suspicion and dislike of Jane is now replaced by newfound empathy and compassion, reflecting Emma’s maturing as a character.

“If a woman can ever be excused for thinking only of herself, it is in a situation like Jane Fairfax’s. – Of such, one may almost say, that ‘the world is not their’s, nor the world’s law.'”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 46. Emma makes this comment about Jane Fairfax’s behavior on learning of her secret engagement to Frank Churchill. As Emma expresses understanding and admiration for Jane, she references a line from Romeo and Juliet. It refers to the world and its laws being stacked against the apothecary and preventing him escaping poverty. With Frank a wealthy man and Jane having no fortune of her own, Jane will now have financial security. Reflected here are the limited options available to women with no wealth in Austen’s England. The quote also reveals a significant shift in Emma’s perception of Jane. In the past she tended to Judge Jane and view her with a mixture of dislike and jealousy. This is an important step in Jane’s personal growth and maturing as a woman.

Emma’s eyes were instantly withdrawn; and she sat silently meditating, in a fixed attitude, for a few minutes. A few minutes were sufficient for making her acquainted with her own heart. A mind like hers, once opening to suspicion, made rapid progress; she touched, she admitted, she acknowledged the whole truth. Why was it so much worse that Harriet should be in love with Mr. Knightley than with Frank Churchill? Why was the evil so dreadfully increased by Harriet’s having some hope of a return? It darted through her with the speed of an arrow that Mr. Knightley must marry no one but herself!

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 47. Here we have Emma’s awakening when she makes the surprising discovery that she is in love with Mr. Knightley. While she spends most of the story focused on matchmaking for other people, she is remarkably blind to her own desires and romantic feelings. It takes her friend Harriet’s declaration that she has feelings for Mr. Knightley and had hopes to him returning the affection to awaken Emma’s jealousy. It makes Emma realize that Mr. Knightley should marry no one but her. The sheer force and speed of the realization of her feelings for him is emphasized by the hyperbolic metaphor, “It darted through her with the speed of an arrow.” This major turning point in the story is an important moment in Emma’s journey of self-knowledge and growth as a person.

She was most sorrowfully indignant; ashamed of every sensation but the one revealed to her – her affection for Mr. Knightley. – Every other part of her mind was disgusting.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 47. Captured here is Emma’s emotional turmoil when she becomes aware of the depth of her feelings for Mr. Knightley. Her sudden epiphany comes only after Harriet’s confession of love for Mr. Knightley. It has the effect of rousing Emma to a peak of self-analysis and realization that he is the one for her.

With insufferable vanity had she believed herself in the secret of everybody’s feelings; with unpardonable arrogance proposed to arrange everybody’s destiny. She was proved to have been universally mistaken; and she had not quite done nothing – for she had done mischief. She had brought evil on Harriet, on herself, and she too much feared, on Mr. Knightley.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 47. A self-aware Emma acknowledges that her vanity led her to meddling in other people’s lives and causing them harm with her misperceptions. She accepts how arrogant it was to think herself an expert on people’s feelings so she could arrange their destinies. In her moment of clarity, epiphany and self-discovery, she hyperbolically describes what she did to her friends as evil, her arrogance as unpardonable and vanity as insufferable.

But Harriet was less humble, had fewer scruples than formerly. – Her inferiority, whether of mind or situation, seemed little felt. – She had seemed more sensible of Mr. Elton’s being to stoop in marrying her, than she now seemed of Mr. Knightley’s. – Alas! was not that her own doing too? Who had been at pains to give Harriet notions of self-consequence but herself? – Who but herself had taught her, that she was to elevate herself if possible, and that her claims were great to a high worldly establishment? – If Harriet, from being humble, were grown vain, it was her doing too.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 47. As Emma becomes more humble, Harriet grows more conceited. Here Emma ponders the role she herself played in encouraging Harriet’s vanity and giving her notions of self-importance. She believes that she is to blame for Harriet’s ambitions to marry way above her social station and set her sights on Mr. Knightley. Emma is gaining in self-knowledge as she becomes more aware of her faults and also her own feelings for Mr. Knightley.

The only source whence any thing like consolation or composure could be drawn, was in the resolution of her own better conduct, and the hope that, however inferior in spirit and gaiety might be the following and every future winter of her life to the past, it would yet find her more rational, more acquainted with herself, and leave her less to regret when it were gone.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 48. Emma feels deeply humbled after a number of events, involving bad decision making and treating others poorly. She has been strongly criticized by Mr. Knightley for insulting Miss Bates. Her matchmaking blunders have led to Harriet setting her sights on Mr. Knightley and believing he may return her affections. This has made Emma realize her affections for Knightley and that he must marry no one else but her. Whatever happens, Emma is resolved that in the future she will be better behaved, choosing rationality and self-knowledge above fun and games. This shows how much Emma has grown in maturity and wisdom since the start of the novel.

“I cannot make speeches, Emma…If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. – You hear nothing but truth from me. – I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it. – Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover. – But you understand me. – Yes, you see, you understand my feelings – and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 49. The story reaches its romantic climax with Mr. Knightley’s declaration of love and proposal to Emma. His speech features some of the most romantic lines in the novel. A man of action rather than an eloquent master of words, Mr. Knightley is not given to dramatic gestures, verbose speech or ornate language. He has a reputation for being reserved and not openly expressing his feelings. But he overcomes these obstacles to convey his profound and unwavering love for Emma in language that is direct, sincere and honest. Mr. Knightley’s growth as a character is shown as he bares his heart to Emma. He admits his flaws, being an “indifferent lover” and not making his feelings known, while lecturing and blaming Emma on her faults.

“My behaviour to Miss Woodhouse indicated, I believe, more than it ought. – In order to assist a concealment so essential to me, I was led on to make more than an allowable use of the sort of intimacy into which we were immediately thrown.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 50. In Frank Churchill’s letter to Mrs. Weston, he accepts the seriousness of his mistakes and deceptive behavior. He admits pretending to have feelings for and flirting with Emma in order to conceal his secret engagement to Jane. Frank’s confession and apology, while not absolving him, does show signs of him maturing and growing into a better person.

“When I think of the kindness and favour I have met with, of her excellence and patience, and my uncle’s generosity, I am mad with joy: but when I recollect all the uneasiness I occasioned her, and how little I deserve to be forgiven, I am mad with anger.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 50. Frank writes a letter to his stepmother Mrs. Weston to explain his secrecy about his engagement to Jane Fairfax and apologize for his behavior. Revealing that Jane broke off their engagement but they later reconciled, he expresses remorse for the pain he caused her and accepts he hardly deserves forgiveness.

“I behaved shamefully. And here I can admit, that my manners to Miss W., in being unpleasant to Miss F., were highly blameable. She disapproved them, which ought to have been enough. – My plea of concealing the truth she did not think sufficient. – She was displeased; I thought unreasonably so…But she was always right.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 50. In a lengthy letter of apology to Mrs. Weston for his misdeeds, Frank Churchill expresses his shame over his treatment of his fiancée Jane and Emma. He acknowledges that Jane was “always right” to disapprove concealing the truth about their engagement. Here Frank shows a new level of maturity in showing deep regret for his behavior and deception.

“You are very kind, but I know what my manners were to you. – So cold and artificial! – I had always a part to act. – It was a life of deceit! – I know that I must have disgusted you.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 52. Emma and Jane finally become friends, when Emma pays her a visit. She apologizes to Jane for her coldness towards her and admits to “a life of deceit” and always having to act a role. Here we see another important step in Emma’s journey of self-knowledge and growth as a character.

“You need not be at any pains to reconcile me to the match. I think Harriet is doing extremely well. Her connexions may be worse than his. In respectability of character, there can be no doubt that they are.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 54. Emma’s comments to Mr. Knightley demonstrates her personal growth. She has spent much time trying to match the illegitimate Harriet with someone socially superior, such as Mr. Elton. Now she accepts that Harriet will do very well with tenant farmer Mr. Martin, whom she finally admits to be socially a notch or two above Harriet.

“I am perfectly satisfied,” replied Emma, with the brightest smiles, “and most sincerely wish them happy.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 54. Emma’s change in attitude towards marriage is reflected as she reacts to Mr. Knightley’s announcement of Harriet and Mr. Martin’s engagement. She goes from disbelief to genuine delight for them. This shows her growth in maturity and capacity for change. She now sees the importance of supporting those she loves to pursue happiness without her interference and manipulation.

The joy, the gratitude, the exquisite delight of her sensations may be imagined. The sole grievance and alloy thus removed in the prospect of Harriet’s welfare, she was really in danger of becoming too happy for security. – What had she to wish for? Nothing, but to grow more worthy of him, whose intentions and judgment had been ever so superior to her own. Nothing, but that the lessons of her past folly might teach her humility and circumspection in future.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 54. After Mr. Knightley delivers the news that Harriet has accepted a second marriage proposal from Robert Martin, Emma is elated. Acknowledging her past foolishness, she promises to be more humble and circumspect in the future. And she hopes to grow more worthy of Mr. Knightley, whom she credits with superior judgment to hers. She uses the word “alloy” as a metaphor for her past matchmaking misperceptions that could have ruined Harriet’s well-being and happiness. This shows how much Emma has matured and seen the error of her ways.

High in the rank of her most serious and heartfelt felicities, was the reflection that all necessity of concealment from Mr. Knightley would soon be over. The disguise, equivocation, mystery, so hateful to her to practise, might soon be over. She could now look forward to giving him that full and perfect confidence which her disposition was most ready to welcome as a duty.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 54. With Harriet’s affections no longer focused on Mr. Knightley and she safely back in the patient arms of Mr. Martin, Emma is greatly relieved. Now that Harriet is no longer in love with her betrothed, Emma feels that it is time to practice complete honesty with Mr. Knightley. This means no more deceit and concealment, which Emma admits she hated. She also looks forward to fulfilling her duties as a wife. Emma’s changing attitude towards love and marriage are shown here.
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