Emma Marriage Quotes

“But Mr. Knightley does not want to marry. I am sure he has not the least idea of it. Do not put it into his head. Why should he marry? – He is as happy as possible by himself; with his farm, and his sheep, and his library, and all the parish to manage; and he is extremely fond of his brother’s children. He has no occasion to marry, either to fill up his time or his heart.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 26. When Mrs. Weston talks of the “probability” of a match between Mr. Knightley and Jane Fairfax, Emma presents sound arguments why Mr. Knightley will not marry. Like he loves his farm, sheep, managing the parish, and his brother’s children. But is it a case of “The lady doth protest too much?” While Emma doesn’t realize or accept it yet, she herself is in love with Knightley. We see here an example of Emma’s self-deception about her own desires.

Her objections to Mr. Knightley’s marrying did not in the least subside. She could see nothing but evil in it. It would be a great disappointment to Mr. John Knightley; consequently to Isabella. A real injury to the children – a most mortifying change, and material loss to them all; – a very great deduction from her father’s daily comfort – and, as to herself, she could not at all endure the idea of Jane Fairfax at Donwell Abbey. A Mrs. Knightley for them all to give way to! – No – Mr. Knightley must never marry. Little Henry must remain the heir of Donwell.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 26. This is Emma’s train of thought when she notices Mr. Knightley being “most attentive” to Jane Fairfax’s singing and piano playing. She thinks about Mrs. Weston’s suggestion of a match between Jane and Mr. Knightley and forcefully objects to it. She reaches for all kinds of reasons why the match is ill advised. But her hyperbolic dismissal of it as “nothing but evil” betrays her self-deception about her own feelings for Mr. Knightley. Her out of proportion and jealous reaction foreshadows her eventual realization that she is deeply in love with him.

“Dear Harriet! I would not change you for the clearest-headed, longest-sighted, best judging female breathing. Oh, the coldness of a Jane Fairfax! Harriet is worth a hundred such: and for a wife – a sensible man’s wife – it is invaluable. I mention no names; but happy the man who changes Emma for Harriet!”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 31. Speaking to herself, Emma expresses her love and admiration for Harriet. In her outpouring of affection in these final line of the chapter, she refers to Harriet as worth a hundred Jane Fairfaxes. She would be an excellent wife for a sensible man, Emma believes. Emma’s dislike of Jane prompts her to label her as cold and distant. This is an unfair misreading of Jane’s behavior. Jane’s reserve may arise from her embarrassment of having to seek a governess’s position, she being an orphan with limited means and not rich like Emma. We also later learn that Jane has been secretly engaged to Frank Churchill, another reason she might appear reserved.

“Jane Fairfax has feeling,” said Mr. Knightley – “I do not accuse her of want of feeling. Her sensibilities, I suspect, are strong – and her temper excellent in its power of forbearance, patience, self-control; but it wants openness. She is reserved, more reserved, I think, than she used to be – And I love an open temper.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 33. When Emma teases Mr. Knightley about the possibility of marriage to Jane Fairfax, he makes it clear that he is not interested. He points out that he prefers women who are open tempered and not reserved. As Emma seems to fit the bill a lot more than Jane, this may be seen as Austen foreshadowing her and Knightley’s eventual marriage.

“He was apt to be in despair, and exclaim that he was sure at this rate it would be May before Hymen’s saffron robe would be put on for us.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 36. Mrs. Elton alludes to a line from John Milton’s pastoral poem L’Allegro. The line is: “There let Hymen oft appear In Saffron robe.” Hymen was the Greek God of marriage. Mrs. Elton is speaking about the time Mr. Elton was courting her and he despaired that things were moving too slowly for him towards marriage.

Every thing was to take its natural course, however, neither impelled nor assisted. She would not stir a step, nor drop a hint. No, she had had enough of interference. There could be no harm in a scheme, a mere passive scheme. It was no more than a wish. Beyond it she would on no account proceed.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 39. Has Emma learned her lesson about the perils of matchmaking? When faced with her latest potential scheme of trying to match Harriet with Frank Churchill, she decides to let love and marriage take their natural course. But then she talks of there being no harm in a “mere passive scheme” and “a wish.” When does a passive scheme turn into the meddling and interfering in others’ lives that led to disastrous results in the past? For Emma old matchmaking habits die hard.

“There is but one married woman in the world whom I can ever allow to invite what guests she pleases to Donwell, and that one is – ”
“Mrs. Weston, I suppose,” interrupted Mrs. Elton, rather mortified.
“No – Mrs. Knightley; – and till she is in being, I will manage such matters myself.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 42. When Mrs. Elton tries to take over the planning of a trip to Mr. Knightley’s estate, he asserts his authority and politely but firmly puts her in her place. When he speaks of a future Mrs. Knightley, there is foreshadowing here, as he admits to his potential for love and marriage.

“It is only by seeing women in their own homes, among their own set, just as they always are, that you can form any just judgment. Short of that, it is all guess and luck – and will generally be ill-luck. How many a man has committed himself on a short acquaintance, and rued it all the rest of his life!”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 43. At the Box Hill outing Frank Churchill makes this statement about men marrying in haste. He warns of the danger of wedding a woman without first getting to know her in her natural environment, among family and friends. His comments are ostensively about the Eltons, saying how lucky they are that they suit one another. But they are also part of Frank’s secret language and a taunt aimed at Jane. He implies that he got engaged too quickly and now wants out. For Frank is secretly engaged to Jane, something he goes to great pains to disguise and hide from family and friends. An upset Jane responds briefly to his taunt, is stopped by a cough, then recovers her voice. And in their secret coded argument she gives as good as she gets: “It can be only weak, irresolute characters, (whose happiness must be always at the mercy of chance,) who will suffer an unfortunate acquaintance to be an inconvenience, an oppression for ever.”

“I have escaped; and that I should escape, may be a matter of grateful wonder to you and myself. But this does not acquit him, Mrs. Weston; and I must say, that I think him greatly to blame. What right had he to come among us with affection and faith engaged, and with manners so very disengaged? What right had he to endeavour to please, as he certainly did – to distinguish any one young woman with persevering attention, as he certainly did – while he really belonged to another? – How could he tell what mischief he might be doing? – How could he tell that he might not be making me in love with him? – very wrong, very wrong indeed.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 46. When Mrs. Weston delivers the news of Frank Churchill’s secret engagement to Jane Fairfax, Emma is outraged. Not because she herself was carrying a torch for Frank, as Mrs. Weston thought. Rather she is angry at Frank’s deceitful, manipulative and irresponsible behavior. She emphatically condemns it as “very wrong, very wrong indeed.” The flirtatious Frank pretended to be romantically interested in her, while he belonged to another, she complains. Pointing out the harm he could have done, she admits that Frank could have made her fall in love with him. But she appears relieved to have “escaped” that situation. Emma’s anger is further fueled by her embarrassment over having encouraged her friend Harriet’s affections for Frank. This is revealed in the next chapter. The quote also shows Emma’s misjudging and misreading of people, because she believed Frank harbored feelings for her and not Jane.

Emma’s eyes were instantly withdrawn; and she sat silently meditating, in a fixed attitude, for a few minutes. A few minutes were sufficient for making her acquainted with her own heart. A mind like hers, once opening to suspicion, made rapid progress; she touched, she admitted, she acknowledged the whole truth. Why was it so much worse that Harriet should be in love with Mr. Knightley than with Frank Churchill? Why was the evil so dreadfully increased by Harriet’s having some hope of a return? It darted through her with the speed of an arrow that Mr. Knightley must marry no one but herself!

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 47. Here we have Emma’s awakening when she makes the surprising discovery that she is in love with Mr. Knightley. While she spends most of the story focused on matchmaking for other people, she is remarkably blind to her own desires and romantic feelings. It takes her friend Harriet’s declaration that she has feelings for Mr. Knightley and had hopes to him returning the affection to awaken Emma’s jealousy. It makes Emma realize that Mr. Knightley should marry no one but her. The sheer force and speed of the realization of her feelings for him is emphasized by the hyperbolic metaphor, “It darted through her with the speed of an arrow.” This major turning point in the story is an important moment in Emma’s journey of self-knowledge and growth as a person.

But Harriet was less humble, had fewer scruples than formerly. – Her inferiority, whether of mind or situation, seemed little felt. – She had seemed more sensible of Mr. Elton’s being to stoop in marrying her, than she now seemed of Mr. Knightley’s. – Alas! was not that her own doing too? Who had been at pains to give Harriet notions of self-consequence but herself? – Who but herself had taught her, that she was to elevate herself if possible, and that her claims were great to a high worldly establishment? – If Harriet, from being humble, were grown vain, it was her doing too.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 47. As Emma becomes more humble, Harriet grows more conceited. Here Emma ponders the role she herself played in encouraging Harriet’s vanity and giving her notions of self-importance. She believes that she is to blame for Harriet’s ambitions to marry way above her social station and set her sights on Mr. Knightley. Emma is gaining in self-knowledge as she becomes more aware of her faults and also her own feelings for Mr. Knightley.

“I cannot make speeches, Emma…If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. – You hear nothing but truth from me. – I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it. – Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover. – But you understand me. – Yes, you see, you understand my feelings – and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 49. The story reaches its romantic climax with Mr. Knightley’s declaration of love and proposal to Emma. His speech features some of the most romantic lines in the novel. A man of action rather than an eloquent master of words, Mr. Knightley is not given to dramatic gestures, verbose speech or ornate language. He has a reputation for being reserved and not openly expressing his feelings. But he overcomes these obstacles to convey his profound and unwavering love for Emma in language that is direct, sincere and honest. Mr. Knightley’s growth as a character is shown as he bares his heart to Emma. He admits his flaws, being an “indifferent lover” and not making his feelings known, while lecturing and blaming Emma on her faults.

She spoke then, on being so entreated. – What did she say? – Just what she ought, of course. A lady always does. – She said enough to shew there need not be despair – and to invite him to say more himself.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 49. We are not told directly what Emma says in response to Mr. Knightley’s declaration of love and proposal. Yet we don’t need to hear her words, since the narrator lets us know indirectly that she returns his feelings of affection. Mr. Knightley in his proposal pointed out that the absence of speech can convey the truest feelings. Similarly in Emma’s case, her love is expressed here in simple words and using no ornate language.

But the plan which had arisen on the sacrifice of this, he trusted his dearest Emma would not find in any respect objectionable; it was, that he should be received at Hartfield; that so long as her father’s happiness in other words his life – required Hartfield to continue her home, it should be his likewise.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 51. Showing how much he truly loves Emma, Mr. Knightley proposes that when they marry he leave his home in Dunwell Abbey and move into the Woodhouse residence of Hartfield. This is so that Emma’s father Mr. Woodhouse will not be disturbed by their marriage.

“I will promise to call you once by your Christian name. I do not say when, but perhaps you may guess where; – in the building in which N. takes M. for better, for worse.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 53. When Mr. Knightley asks Emma to call him by his first name George, she promises to do it at their wedding ceremony. In what Emma says, there are allusions to the marriage ceremony in England’s Book of Common Prayer. It reads, “I N. take thee M. to my wedded husband…for better for worse.”

Mr. Elton cared little about it, compared with his wife; he only hoped “the young lady’s pride would now be contented;” and supposed “she had always meant to catch Knightley if she could;” and, on the point of living at Hartfield, could daringly exclaim, “Rather he than I!” – But Mrs. Elton was very much discomposed indeed. – “Poor Knightley! poor fellow! – sad business for him.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 53. While most people are delighted with the match between Emma and Mr. Knightley, the Eltons are not so gracious with their comments. Mr. Elton cynically remarks that Emma had always set out to snare Knightley, while Mrs. Elton ironically offers Mr. Knightley her sympathies.

“I am perfectly satisfied,” replied Emma, with the brightest smiles, “and most sincerely wish them happy.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 54. Emma’s change in attitude towards marriage is reflected as she reacts to Mr. Knightley’s announcement of Harriet and Mr. Martin’s engagement. She goes from disbelief to genuine delight for them. This shows her growth in maturity and capacity for change. She now sees the importance of supporting those she loves to pursue happiness without her interference and manipulation.

High in the rank of her most serious and heartfelt felicities, was the reflection that all necessity of concealment from Mr. Knightley would soon be over. The disguise, equivocation, mystery, so hateful to her to practise, might soon be over. She could now look forward to giving him that full and perfect confidence which her disposition was most ready to welcome as a duty.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 54. With Harriet’s affections no longer focused on Mr. Knightley and she safely back in the patient arms of Mr. Martin, Emma is greatly relieved. Now that Harriet is no longer in love with her betrothed, Emma feels that it is time to practice complete honesty with Mr. Knightley. This means no more deceit and concealment, which Emma admits she hated. She also looks forward to fulfilling her duties as a wife. Emma’s changing attitude towards love and marriage are shown here.

“If not in our dispositions…there is a likeness in our destiny; the destiny which bids fair to connect us with two characters so much superior to our own.”

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 54. Emma tells Frank that they are alike in that their journeys are similar. They are both marrying someone considered a better person than they are. Emma is referring to Mr. Knightley’s honesty and maturity and sense of responsibility, and Jane Fairfax’s kindness and morally upright character. By contrast Emma and Frank show a level of immaturity and manipulativeness that gets them into trouble.

She proved to be the daughter of a tradesman, rich enough to afford her the comfortable maintenance which had ever been hers, and decent enough to have always wished for concealment. – Such was the blood of gentility which Emma had formerly been so ready to vouch for! – It was likely to be as untainted, perhaps, as the blood of many a gentleman: but what a connexion had she been preparing for Mr. Knightley – or for the Churchills – or even for Mr. Elton! – The stain of illegitimacy, unbleached by nobility or wealth, would have been a stain indeed.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 55. In the final chapter after Harriet’s engagement to Robert Martin, her parentage is revealed. She is the daughter of a mere tradesman and illegitimate into the bargain. This was seen as a shameful thing in majority of cases in those times, reflected in Emma’s use of the metaphor “stain.” Emma the snob and defender of the social class structure makes a re-appearance, despite having grown in maturity and self-awareness throughout the novel. She thinks that Harriet is far too low in social status to make a match with men like Mr. Knightley, Frank Churchill or Mr. Elton. Using another metaphor, she says that Harriet’s illegitimate status was “unbleached” – or whitewashed – by having a noble or wealthy man for a father. It seems everything would have been fine for her to marry upwards if that were so. The power of the novel as a social satire and critique on early 19th century English society’s snobbery and class consciousness is seen in this quote.

The wedding was very much like other weddings, where the parties have no taste for finery or parade; and Mrs. Elton, from the particulars detailed by her husband, thought it all extremely shabby, and very inferior to her own. – “Very little white satin, very few lace veils; a most pitiful business! – Selina would stare when she heard of it.” – But, in spite of these deficiencies, the wishes, the hopes, the confidence, the predictions of the small band of true friends who witnessed the ceremony, were fully answered in the perfect happiness of the union.

– Jane Austen

Emma, Chapter 55. The novel’s final paragraph is devoted to a humorous and satirical dig at the pretentious, social climbing Mrs. Elton. She is not among the “true friends” invited to Knightley and Emma’s wedding. But it doesn’t stop her and her celebrant husband criticizing it as something “shabby” and “pitiful.” She comments on the inferiority of the occasion compared to her own big day and hits at the lack of satin and lace. One can imagine how gaudy her own nuptials were. It is an irony for a clergyman, who wanted to marry Emma at one stage, and his wife to engage in this kind of bitchy gossip. But seeing that it is Mr. and Mrs. Elton, is it that surprising?
    • 1
    • 2
Close