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The Great Gatsby
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The Great Gatsby
Hamlet

Ellie Kemper Quotes

In Los Angeles, people dress with the deep and earnest hope that people will do nothing but stare at them.

– Ellie Kemper

Most New Yorkers want to look amazing, and they want you to understand that they look amazing, but they also want you to stop staring at them.

– Ellie Kemper

I’ve never had prejudice against me because of being a woman in comedy, I’ve never felt any sort of unfairness because of that – but I do think it is naive to think that it doesn’t exist.

– Ellie Kemper

I wrote comedy sketches in college.

– Ellie Kemper

I can’t do impressions.

– Ellie Kemper

I guess it’s easier to think badly and then be pleasantly surprised.

– Ellie Kemper

If you’re going to plan a wedding, then a certain amount of suffering is not a choice.

– Ellie Kemper

I want to be a morning-talk-show host. I love Kelly Ripa’s job. She gets to live in New York and has this amazing job hosting a talk show.

– Ellie Kemper

I need to make sure that when I’m running out to the drugstore I’m not wearing a Biore strip or something. Not that I expect anyone to recognize me, but on the off chance they do, I just don’t want to embarrass myself.

– Ellie Kemper

In the back of my head, I always thought it would be great to become an actress on a sitcom.

– Ellie Kemper

I’m a little disappointed in myself because before getting pregnant, I resolved to do all these things during my pregnancy to nurse a healthy pregnancy. And so I’m finding in these final weeks that I didn’t do any of them.

– Ellie Kemper

Los Angeles survives on that which is unpredictable. The unexpected courses through its very veins.

– Ellie Kemper

Improv is mostly what I’ve studied.

– Ellie Kemper

When you start feeling the baby kick, you realize there’s a person inside, and that pregnancy is very different from having a person you’re responsible for for the rest of your life. I don’t know what I’m doing, but then I have to remind myself no parent does, right?

– Ellie Kemper

I think I get certain pleasure from writing what I’m performing.

– Ellie Kemper

A man’s face is not a rich person’s lawn; you are wasting resources if you devote that much energy to trimming your beard, sideburns, or mustache just so. Nor is a man’s face the woods; there need not be the tangled weeds, shrubbery, and wildlife/eggs benedict that get ensnared in them.

– Ellie Kemper

Men, who certainly possess not only the savvy but also the know-how to be funny, for some reason, are just not. I began to notice this at a pretty young age, and unfortunately, a lifetime of living – and not a little bit of regret – hasn’t done much to convince me otherwise.

– Ellie Kemper

There are some extremely acceptable male comedians out there: Joel Osteen, Abraham Lincoln, the man who played Phil Spector in HBO’s ‘Phil Spector.’ But even those guys, while insightful and amusing, aren’t exactly funny.

– Ellie Kemper

Yes, some women are funny. No, some women aren’t funny. It’s similar to how some women are tall and, you know, some women are short.

– Ellie Kemper

One nice thing that I have discovered about Los Angeles is the enthusiasm with which people dress.

– Ellie Kemper

New York is like the weirdest city in the United States, in a great way, and Los Angeles is probably more similar to most of America.

– Ellie Kemper

I loved ‘Freaks and Geeks.’ I don’t know a better show.

– Ellie Kemper

I joined an improv comedy group. Ours was named ‘Quick Fire!’ with an exclamation point. It was when I auditioned for that team and got on it and felt like… I’ll just say I felt like I was good at it.

– Ellie Kemper

It’s interesting because with a lot of people who I’ve met in comedy, it seems not to matter what your background is. In terms of formal schooling – I feel like that’s a nineteenth century term – but in terms of where you went to high school or college, or wherever, all that really is irrelevant, I have found, in comedy.

– Ellie Kemper

My painting teacher in high school used to say, ‘I can’t paint like I want to, but through practice I’ll get better.’ But I don’t think that’s true. I think sometimes you just can’t paint.

– Ellie Kemper

Growing up, I had one very specific idea of what a wedding should be, and that was the wedding of Fraulein Maria and Captain von Trapp in ‘The Sound of Music.’

– Ellie Kemper