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I’m always looking for meaningful one-night stands.
– Dudley Moore
I am trapped in this body, and there is nothing I can do about it.
I haven’t had that many women – only as many as I could lay my hands on.
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
I certainly did feel inferior. Because of class. Because of strength. Because of height. I guess if I’d been able to hit somebody in the nose, I wouldn’t have been a comic.