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I don’t walk into a dinner party and say, ‘You’re an idiot; give me my coat.’
– Don Rickles
Now when I’m not working, I don’t really hang out with the young comics.
I’m very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.
I ride a recumbent bike for half an hour every day.
Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they’d laugh at it.
I want to be a dog, but I’m a pussycat.
I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there’s that.
Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.
I enjoy mixed audiences, not one particular group. Short, tall, scientists, Jews, gentiles, whatever, as long as they breathe and like to laugh.
Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.
In our day we went from – we went into saloons. We couldn’t cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you’re a major movie star, you know.
Some people call me a legend and the last of the greats, and I appreciate it.
Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.
I was 28 when my father died, and I was an only child.
I still have drive, but everything is relative.
It takes many years to be a great comedian.
In the 45 years I’ve worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don’t even have a hunting license.
Bob Newhart, who is my best friend, is one of the guys I adore.
To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I’m really thrilled.
I was a mother’s boy.
I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That’s the last time I cried.
I told jokes badly.
When you first start out with something new, you’re always a little uptight.
The average person pushes an elevator button 6 or 7 minutes before realizing it’s not working. I did a study on this, you know.
When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit.
It’s very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that.
I don’t care if the average guy on the street really knows what I’m like, as long as he knows I’m not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I’m really like. That’s what’s important.
Every night when I go out on stage, there’s always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I’m always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I’m not going to offend!
I’ve been to Philadelphia a lot of times over the years, playing the old Celebrity Room and most of the other clubs around there that don’t exist anymore.
I never went out looking for glory.