I was quite fat as a kid. And swimming is a sport you can enjoy whatever size you are. If you’re fat, running is a pain. I’m not really built for running. – David Walliams
Definitely I love women, I love being around women, I find them incredible and intoxicating, and I’ve never had that feeling I get with women with a man. – David Walliams
I had a very happy childhood, but I wasn’t that happy a child. I liked being alone and creating characters and voices. I think that’s when your creativity is developed, when you’re young. I liked the world of the imagination because it was an easy place to go to. – David Walliams
Reality always outstrips fiction. Whatever you make up, something more incredible always pops up in real life. – David Walliams
I don’t get recognized much, and am very happy with that. The fans I have met have all been delightful. – David Walliams
I know somebody from university who’s called Phil Collins, and I think there’s something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name with somebody who either is famous or becomes famous. – David Walliams
There’s a sort of magic and music to comedy. Some words, some numbers even, are funnier than others. A Caramac bar, for instance, is funnier than a Milky Way. – David Walliams
I don’t know what I’ll be like when I’m 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman. – David Walliams
It’s a weird thing because I’ve been single at the time when I’ve been successful. That’s good and bad. Good, because you meet lots of people, bad because your privacy is infringed, so it’s harder to develop things. – David Walliams
When I want comfort food, I buy Maltesers. I like all chocolates, but especially those. You can eat them, and because they’re so light, you can convince yourself that they are not actually that fattening. – David Walliams
I’m not a political thinker, but I’ve just always thought of myself as a Labour supporter. I was a great fan of Tony Blair. He sent me a letter before I swam the Channel to wish me luck. – David Walliams
I love telling stories. I love the intimacy between the writer and reader. When you write sketches it’s over in two minutes. When you write a book the characters have to have a bit of emotional depth. – David Walliams
It’s easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I’ve always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland. – David Walliams
I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll. – David Walliams
It can be difficult to be subtle and not cartoony in prosthetics. But when you see characters like Bubbles and Desiree from ‘Little Britain’ on screen, it makes all the hard work worth it. It’s such fun watching those transformations. – David Walliams
My favourite restaurant of all time is Mildreds on London’s Lexington Street. It’s a little vegetarian restaurant and is really fun and healthy, too. It was the first place I went to in London and really liked. That was 20 years ago, and it is still my favourite. – David Walliams
I was born in 1971, and Tom Baker was sort of my obsession as a kid and that’s why we got him to do the voice over for ‘Little Britain’ because I was actually obsessed with Tom Baker. – David Walliams
The one good thing about our school was the Cadets; I chose to be in the Navy, purely for the sailor’s outfit. A pity we had to give them back. – David Walliams
I can’t see why anyone would want to be in politics because you get so much criticism. – David Walliams
Sometimes you meet people who can’t swim. And I always think: ‘Oh my God, that’s extraordinary.’ For me, it’s always been a treat… I just feel really happy in the water. – David Walliams
Children’s books are often seen as the poor relation of literature. But children are just as demanding as adult readers, if not more so. I should know. I’m a children’s writer myself. – David Walliams
I still enjoy my life, and I feel like I’ve achieved enough things that if I never did anything again, I’d feel confident that I’d still have made my mark in some way. But maybe the self-loathing bit is the element that makes you strive for more. Makes you strive to be better. – David Walliams
People think writing a children’s book is something you could do in an afternoon but it’s actually really hard. – David Walliams
I haven’t put much effort into my personal life and blithely believe it will turn out all right in the end. – David Walliams