Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it’s not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years. – David Spade
In grade school I was smart, but I didn’t have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends. – David Spade
I’ve had it where things didn’t go well for me with movies or something that got canceled. – David Spade
I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those. – David Spade
Success? You can’t get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, ‘That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He’s horrible.’ – David Spade
It’s just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I’m sure I will, but I’m just trying to postpone it. – David Spade
You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that’s depressing, or you can screw around and have fun. – David Spade
No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it’s too weird to sleep in too late. – David Spade
There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all. – David Spade
I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder. – David Spade