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I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
– Billy Crystal
I’m a baby. I sleep like a baby – I’m up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
When I’m not thrilled, I get funny.
Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
Mom was so funny and loving to us kids. She was our first audience. When my dad died, I was suddenly alone in the house with her because my two older brothers were away at college. I was the man of the house, and she was the grieving woman.
Doing my Broadway show ‘700 Sundays’ reminded me how much I love working in front of an audience.
My dad, Jack, had a great sense of humour and had a strong impact on me and my humour.
I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
You don’t want to wait for that aged jockey role.
Our professor was Marty Scorsese. Marty was a graduate student, or Mr. Scorsese, which is what I had to call him, and still do when I see him ’cause he gave me a C.
When I was about 21 and just about to get out of college at NYU, Vietnam was raging, and I was a frustrated musician for a little bit.
Rehearsals are for gags.
It took five years to get ‘Parental Guidance’ made, and it was a fight every second.
The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They’re monumental. They’re straight out of Page 52 in your school history book.
My mind is always going. I’m always thinking what I need to do, what I haven’t done, what I did do, what I didn’t do as well as I could – I’m relentless that way with myself.
My Aunt Sheila was terrifying! She would put a napkin in her mouth and say, ‘You’ve got something on your face, dear. Let me just scratch that off your face. Let me sand your cheek.’
It’s like being a gym rat, but you’re a theater rat, and then that becomes your fraternity house. That becomes your extended family.
Mr. Hitchcock knew what he was doing.
I went to my first game May 30, 1956, and Mantle was in the beginnings of his Triple Crown season. And he was drop-dead handsome.
People are always telling you you’re done. Someone’s always telling you that, especially now in the day of social media.
That’s the thing that I’m really most proud of: that I’m still… people still would like to see me. I love seeing them.
I really could’ve been a good student, but I was always hearing an imaginary audience.
Ali forced us to take a look at ourselves. This brash young man who thrilled us, angered us, confused and challenged us, ultimately became a silent messenger of peace who taught us that life is best when you build bridges between people, not walls.
I never stopped believing in us, and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be.
I don’t like to watch my work after I do it because it just – I’ll always look at the wrong things.
I’m proud that I have done so many different kinds of things and maintained an amazing family. And I think that’s the joy: that I’ve been able to have everything.
Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
Change is such hard work.
What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
Whatever it is that’s bothering me – interacting with annoying guy at a restaurant, contemplating my age, or losing friends to illness – I’ll start to chip away at it. If you can poke holes in it, it’s not as formidable; it’s not as scary, and ultimately, it becomes another truth.