Trump finally wore a mask the other day and said he felt like the Lone Ranger. But the Lone Ranger’s mask had two eye holes in it, while Trump’s mask had only one asshole in it. – Bette Midler
The leadership sucks bigly, but people refusing to wear masks as a “political statement” is just demented. Do we or do we not want to have a full blown Depression? That’s what we’re gonna have if no one is able to go back to work because there’s no social compliance. – Bette Midler
I made a pact with myself a long time ago: Never watch anything stupider than you. It’s helped me a lot. – Bette Midler
I hope to keep entertaining in some way until I can’t physically entertain any longer. It’s what I was born to do, and I love this profession. – Bette Midler
I sometimes think I should go back to school to learn French and music, but who would have me? – Bette Midler
A lot of people have no access to beauty. When I was growing up, my mother had only a few pretty things to look at. – Bette Midler
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? – Bette Midler
My husband calls it winging it – the way I just took what the studios gave me, didn’t do my homework and avoided roles that would risk my image. – Bette Midler
I always try to balance the light with the heavy – a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes. – Bette Midler
I celebrate everyone’s religious holidays. if it’s good enough for the righteous, it’s good enough for the self-righteous, I always say. – Bette Midler
I wouldn’t say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity. – Bette Midler
Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week. – Bette Midler
Group conformity scares the pants off me because it’s so often a prelude to cruelty towards anyone who doesn’t want to – or can’t – join the Big Parade. – Bette Midler
As an actor, you’re supposed to take jobs that will challenge you or force fans to see you in a different light. By the ’90s, I wasn’t really an actor anymore. I was someone who went on the road with these gigantic concerts. – Bette Midler