I’m tired of demographic appeal being more important than talent. I want to fight against that. – Andy Kindler
You tell me that ‘Date Night’ was good? I’m not going to see it. I will debate you on it, having no knowledge of the footage in the film. I was next to someone on the plane watching it, and they were dozing off. – Andy Kindler
I will say that I wasn’t susceptible to Tony Robbins-like pitches, even as a younger man. – Andy Kindler
Why did God have to make Mo’Nique a good actress? What was God thinking when he decided to give Mo’Nique acting chops. Now we have to endure Mo’Nique comedy specials. – Andy Kindler
I sold door to door for a couple years. As the years recede from the event, I remember less about it, which is probably good for my mind. It was home improvement in Cerritos California, Buena Park, that area. – Andy Kindler
Very unique: I was a singer-songwriter-guitarist. Very unusual in the late Seventies to find a singer-songwriter, and on top of that, a guitarist. – Andy Kindler
Sometimes things can be a guilty pleasure, but with ‘Idol,’ everyone talks about it like it’s a real thing; they argue over who’s gonna win… There’s no laughing at it. – Andy Kindler
I did not sell Amway, but I sold Shaklee, which was an Amway-type product sold through multi-level marketing. – Andy Kindler
The right wing is appealing to a shrinking, shrinking demographic of angry white people who blame their predicament in life on the fact that there are immigrants coming into the country; it’s pretty ludicrous. – Andy Kindler
I don’t enjoy writing newspaper articles any more than people like reading them. I’m a standup comic, not a journalist, although sometimes onstage I will say: ‘What else is in the news?’ Writing is work, which I’m not comfortable with. – Andy Kindler
I have to say, after hanging out with Republicans for four days, I want to take a look at my own birth certificate. I don’t think I was born in this country. – Andy Kindler
My goal is to be exactly how I am offstage – although I realize I’m supposed to punctuate it with jokes. – Andy Kindler
I do notice a lot of people who want to shock to get laughs. It’s such a tricky thing; you don’t want to make rules about it. There’s nobody more hilarious than Dave Attell, and he’d break every rule you set up. But he’s funny. – Andy Kindler
Louie is hugely talented. But I get very annoyed at the way the media… say, ‘Louis C.K. is the greatest stand-up in the world.’ He’s not the greatest stand-up in the world. He’s not funnier than Dave Attell. – Andy Kindler