You think in a different way when you don’t have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff. – Amy Sedaris
If I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that’s not necessarily psychic. But I always feel like there’s something around me protecting me. – Amy Sedaris
I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you’d get your supplies, and then you’d use your imagination. – Amy Sedaris
I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you’re stupid. – Amy Sedaris
I have a lot of fake food in my apartment, but I’m picky about it. Old plaster food, like from the ’50s is really nice, hollowed out paper-mache food from old plays – the new stuff just looks too good. – Amy Sedaris
When I’m by myself, I never play music. I have a lot of it, for a girl, but I don’t listen to it a lot. I hate picking music out; I’m not good at it. – Amy Sedaris
When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, ‘Why don’t you make it yourself.’ It’s like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That’s not making chocolate-chip cookies. – Amy Sedaris
I wouldn’t call myself a shut-in. I have the ability to leave my home; I just choose not to. But because I’m such a homebody, it’s important to be surrounded by things I love. – Amy Sedaris
I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven. – Amy Sedaris
My kitchen’s pink, like skin-tone pink, and I lowered my spice rack so it’s eye level – it’s true! – and my phone, so I can reach it when I fall, it’s right there. – Amy Sedaris
I think it’s still kind of weird to memorize a line, because you’re supposed to ‘be’ this person, you know? So then its like, if I’m really this person, how can I be in the moment if I know there’s just one line I’m supposed to say? It doesn’t feel natural. I always just kind of want to say whatever comes up. – Amy Sedaris
I’m drawn to people who look different. I’m not exploiting. I’m not making fun of them. I’m drawn to them. – Amy Sedaris
I’d just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out. – Amy Sedaris
I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn’t be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school. – Amy Sedaris
I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they’re a little naive – you made it because you needed it. – Amy Sedaris
I’m not a good storyteller. I always think I’m going to get interrupted, or something’s going to get edited. I think that comes from being in a large family, so you have to get your story in really quick or someone cuts you off. – Amy Sedaris