You know, I think it’s so ironic that we’re calling hard work, striving for excellence, don’t blame others, you know, don’t give up, that we’re calling these, quote, ‘Chinese values,’ ’cause I always thought of them as American values. – Amy Chua
I really feel that most things are difficult at the beginning and they become fun, something you love, only after you’ve worked at them. Making children do something hard can, in the long run, be a great parental service. – Amy Chua
I do think that maybe, even subconsciously, a lot of parents in the West are wondering, have we gone too far in the direction of coddling and protecting – you know, you see kids, sometimes that seem very rude and disrespectful. And the more important thing is they don’t seem that happy. – Amy Chua
I’m a proud strict mom and, you know, I’m really proud of the two daughters I’ve raised. And I’m especially proud of my relationship with them. We’re very close. I think we’re good friends. – Amy Chua
I was raised by extremely strict – but also extremely loving – Chinese immigrant parents, and I had the most wonderful childhood! I remember laughing constantly with my parents – my dad is a real character and very funny. I certainly did wish they allowed to me do more things! – Amy Chua
Both of my girls have very high self-esteem because they were both able to master certain things; I should think that’s good for their confidence. – Amy Chua
Instilling a sense of self-discipline and focus when the kids are younger makes it so much easier by the time they get into high school. – Amy Chua
There’s a lot of rudeness and sullen behavior and kids that are very entitled and spoiled, just buy me more stuff. I didn’t want to raise kids like that. – Amy Chua
Kids raised to be pampered and spoiled don’t really end up being good leaders. Leaders need to be independent minded and confident. – Amy Chua
Don’t assume your child is weak. If you, the parent, assume that they can’t take anymore, what kind of signal are you sending them? – Amy Chua
Westerners often laud their children as ‘talented’ or ‘gifted’, while Asian parents highlight the importance of hard work. And in fact, research performed by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has found that the way parents offer approval affects the way children perform, even the way they feel about themselves. – Amy Chua
I think if you’re a ‘tiger parent’ early on, you don’t need to be a ‘helicopter parent’ in high school. – Amy Chua
China is doing lots of things right. It’s investing in education and R&D, it’s opening up, it’s more cosmopolitan than it’s ever been. I think it’s very likely that China will continue to explode economically and certainly become a superpower. – Amy Chua
Tiger parenting is all about raising independent, creative, courageous kids. In America today, there’s a dangerous tendency to romanticize creativity in a way that may undermine it. – Amy Chua
I am definitely a Type A personality, always rushing around, trying to do too much, not good at just lying on the beach. But I’m so thankful for everything I have: wonderfully supportive parents and sisters, the best husband in the world, terrific students I love teaching and hanging out with, and above all, my two amazing daughters. – Amy Chua
For my senior prom, my father finally said I could go – as long as I was home by 9 P.M.! That was around the time that most people were heading out. When I was little I was so mad at them all the time. ‘Why can’t I do this?’ ‘Why are there so many rules?’ But looking back now, my parents gave me the foundation to have so many choices in life. – Amy Chua
China cannot pull in the best and brightest from all over the world. It’s an ethnically defined nation, the opposite of an immigrant nation. You don’t see a lot of American engineers trying to be Chinese citizens. – Amy Chua
I sort of feel like people are not that honest about their own parenting. Take any teenage household; tell me there is not yelling and conflict. – Amy Chua
You can coddle your child and tell them, ‘You’re the best no matter what.’ But in the end, when they go out into the real world, I think it’s pretty tough out there and other children are cruel. – Amy Chua
Once you get to the Enlightenment, the way that powers get to be hyperpowers isn’t just by conquest. It’s through commerce and innovation. Societies like the Dutch Republic and the United States used tolerance to become a magnet for enterprising immigrants. – Amy Chua
Questioning authority is, I think, a great thing to instill in children. I just didn’t have enough of that when I was little. – Amy Chua
You know, parenting is so personal. And we’re all afraid that we didn’t quite get it right. And it feels like the stakes are so high. By we – what if we made a mistake? – Amy Chua
I once won a second prize in a history concert. My parents came to the ceremony. Somebody else had won the prize for best all-around student. Afterwards my father said to me, ‘Never, ever disgrace me like that again.’ When I tell my Western friends, they are aghast. But I adore my father. It didn’t knock my self-esteem at all. – Amy Chua
The most successful hyperpowers are the ones where there was actual intermixing. Tang dynasty China was China’s golden age, and contrary to what I was told when I was growing up, Tang China was founded by a man who by today’s standards was no more than half Chinese. It was a mixed-blood dynasty that pulled in ‘barbarians’ from the steppe. – Amy Chua
Genghis Khan decreed religious tolerance for all of his conquered peoples. So I think he definitely would approve of our constitutional protections of freedom of religion. I think he would also approve of the way the U.S. has been able to attract talented people from all over the world. – Amy Chua
When I was little, my parents really only wanted me to be a scientist or a doctor; they had never even heard of law school. I think even these days if you were to tell your mother you want to be a fashion designer, or an artist or a writer, a lot of Asian parents would be alarmed because they don’t think that’s a secure career. – Amy Chua
The Chinese mom is not the helicopter mom. I would never do their homework for them. It’s all about: Take responsibility, don’t blame others. Be self-reliant. Never blame the teacher. – Amy Chua
Happiness is not always through success. Equally, the constant pursuit of success is sure unhappiness. But we have to find the balance. My own thoughts are that parenting is very personal. And we all feel enormous insecurity about parenting. What are they going to think of us 20 years down the line? – Amy Chua
I was the one that in a very overconfident immigrant way thought I knew exactly how to raise my kids. My husband was much more typical. He had a lot of anxiety; he didn’t think he knew all the right choices. And, I was the one willing to put in the hours. – Amy Chua