A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it. – Alfred Hitchcock
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. – Alfred Hitchcock
There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating. – Alfred Hitchcock
If it’s a good movie, the sound could go off and the audience would still have a perfectly clear idea of what was going on. – Alfred Hitchcock
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one’s antagonisms. And if you haven’t any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. – Alfred Hitchcock
These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig. – Alfred Hitchcock
Some of our most exquisite murders have been domestic, performed with tenderness in simple, homey places like the kitchen table. – Alfred Hitchcock
The paperback is very interesting but I find it will never replace the hardcover book – it makes a very poor doorstop. – Alfred Hitchcock
I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle. – Alfred Hitchcock
Luck is everything… My good luck in life was to be a really frightened person. I’m fortunate to be a coward, to have a low threshold of fear, because a hero couldn’t make a good suspense film. – Alfred Hitchcock
Blondes make the best victims. They’re like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints. – Alfred Hitchcock
When an actor comes to me and wants to discuss his character, I say, ‘It’s in the script.’ If he says, ‘But what’s my motivation?, ‘ I say, ‘Your salary.’ – Alfred Hitchcock
I am a typed director. If I made Cinderella, the audience would immediately be looking for a body in the coach. – Alfred Hitchcock
I’m full of fears and I do my best to avoid difficulties and any kind of complications. I like everything around me to be clear as crystal and completely calm. – Alfred Hitchcock