I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things. – Alan Coren
Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear. – Alan Coren
The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you. – Alan Coren
Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by. – Alan Coren
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room. – Alan Coren