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Valentine - Love - Funny
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|Topic: Animal Quotes - Funny Animal
Quotes, Quotations, Sayings about Animals & Pets
Animal Quotes 5 6
|Related Quotes: Dogs Horses Birds Cats
|I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man
because he was disappointed in the monkey.
A cat will look down to a man. A dog will look up to a man.
But a pig will look you straight in the eye and see his equal.
If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he
make them out of meat?
Fork, n. An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting
dead animals into the mouth. Formerly the knife was employed
for this purpose, and by many worthy persons is still thought
to have many advantages over the other tool, which, however,
they do not altogether reject, but use to assist in charging
the knife. The immunity of these persons from swift and awful
death is one of the most striking proofs of God's mercy to those
that hate Him.
The Devil's Dictionary.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown
To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you .
. . They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing
in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get
tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always
say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think
my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
Kissing originates from animals sniffing each other.
Many years ago when an adored dog died, a great friend, a bishop,
said to me, "You must always remember that, as far as the
Bible is concerned, God only threw the humans out of Paradise."
The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from
or fight its enemies is lunch.
Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem
which he has to solve.
New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three
million of whom think they are human.
(Dame Edna) Barry Humphries
It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them
make their experiments on journalists and politicians.
Cats and monkeys, monkeys and cats; all human life is there.
A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.
"You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she
sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know
there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."
My favorite animal is steak.
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her
closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass
who pays for everything.
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets
at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a
dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon,
and a cat that comes home late at night.
You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus
in me that wants to wallow in the mud.
Animals are my friends, and I don't eat my friends.
George Bernard Shaw
The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion
for lists of "Ten Best".
H. Allen Smith
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
The thing that differentiates man from animals is money.
Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat
pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one? Don't eat pork. God
has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability
to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.
That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates
us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
Please do not feed the squirrels. If you feed the squirrels,
they'll become overweight, and prone to disease. Their population
will grow, and they'll lose their ability to forage for food
on their own. They will expect you to feed them and will attack
you if you don't. They'll become like little welfare recipients,
and you wouldn't want to do this to them.
Sign in Rocky Mountain National Park
Heart attacks - God's revenge for eating his little animal friends.
If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many
dead rabbits on the highway?
Animal Quotes 5 6
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