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Authors: American Dad Quotes, Famous American Dad Quotes Sayings
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Hayley Smith: My mother stole my boyfriend!
Stan Smith: Your boyfriend stole my wife! Let's get back at them by dating each other!
Stan Smith: Wait a minute... Daddy didn't think that one through.
American Dad
Newspaper Headline: Israel pulls out of Gaza; Gaza not pregnant.
American Dad
Roger the Alien [after knocking out two girls with frying pan]: Did you see where they went?
Stan Smith: Who?
Roger the Alien: The black guys who did this.
American Dad
Stan Smith: I'm a Republican, Roger. Fixing elections is my bread and butter. You know how many votes George Bush got in the first election? Seven.
American Dad
Stan Smith: So, what part of Islam do you hail from?
Bob Merari: Well, my parents were from Iran, but I was born in Cleveland.
Stan Smith: Really? You know, we also have a Cleveland here in America. And it'd be just super if you didn't blow it up.
American Dad
Stan Smith: Francine, you be very careful out there today, we're at terror alert orange! Which means something might go down somewhere in some way at some point in time.
[shouts] So look sharp!
Hayley Smith [sarcastically]: You know, Dad, it's great how you and your CIA buddies have created a fun little system to keep the masses paralyzed in fear.
Stan Smith: You like shaving your armpits, Hayley? Do you? 'Cause if the terrorists take over this country that's the first thing to go!
[toast pops up and Stan empties the entire magazine of his handgun into the toaster]
Hayley Smith: It's just toast, Dad.
Stan Smith: This time it was toast, Hayley. This time.
American Dad
Newspaper headline: Optimist Drowns in Half-full Tub.
American Dad
Steve Smith: Dad! There you are.
Stan Smith: Of course I'm here. W-Where would I be? Alone, touching myself?
Steve Smith: Yeah, right. Only perverts and Democrats do that.
Stan Smith [Laughs]: Well said, soldier.
American Dad
Stan Smith [to pee-ed off Francine]: Why can't you take a page from that bitch Hillary Clinton and let it go?
American Dad
Stan Smith [picks up the phone]: This is Stan Smith.
Principal Lewis: Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son.
Stan Smith: Oh, God, he's gay. This is it. This is the gay call. I've been ready for this for years.
[starts chugging down pills]
Principal Lewis: Uhh, no. It's just that he's gone mad with power. He evacuated the entire school and barricaded himself in my office.
Stan Smith: I see.
[foam starts coming out of his mouth]
Stan Smith: Henry, antidote.
American Dad
1 2 3 more American Dad quotes
American Dad is a satirical animated American TV series, first broadcast in 2005. It follows the events of CIA agent Stan Smith and his family.

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