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Alcohol Quotes, Drinking Quotes

I drink therefore I am.
W.C. Fields

I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
Noel Coward

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they are going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra

There cannot be good living where there is no good drinking.
Benjamin Franklin

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
Alex Levine

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns

Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things . . . nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
William Shakespeare
Macbeth 2. 3

When money's tight and hard to get
And your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
Flann O'Brien
From the novel At Swim Two Birds.

A man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry.
Bible
Ecclesiastes 8.15

Here's to the perfect girl, I couldn't ask for more. She's deaf 'n dumb, oversexed, and owns a liquor store.
Drinking Toast

Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
William Shakespeare

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.
Brendan Behan

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.
Brendan Behan

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars - the rest I just squandered.
George Best

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
George Best

I have made an important discovery…that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.
Oscar Wilde

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde

I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming.
Homer Simpson

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
Homer Simpson

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.
Homer Simpson

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.
Homer Simpson

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
Rita Rudner

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after, and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.
Winston Churchill

Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepted thy works.
Bible
Ecclesiastes 9. 7

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend.
Gerard Way

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Frank Sinatra

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
George Bernard Shaw

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.
Frida Kahlo

Wine is as good as life to a man, if it be drunk moderately: what life is then to a man that is without wine? for it was made to make men glad.
Bible
Ecclesiasticus

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
Bob Marley

Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!"
Eleanor Early

Drunkenness is simply voluntary insanity.
Seneca

Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker.
Ogden Nash

Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.
Raymond Chandler

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.
Homer Simpson

The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.
Norman Brenner

A horrid alcoholic explosion scatters all my good intentions like bits of limbs and clothes over the doorsteps and into the saloon bars of the tawdriest pubs.
Dylan Thomas

Man being reasonable must get drunk; The best of life is but intoxication; Glory, the grape, love, gold - in these are sunk - The hopes of all men and of every nation.
Lord Byron

It is the unbroken testimony of all history that alcoholic liquors have been used by the strongest, wisest, handsomest, and in every way best races of all times.
George Saintsbury

If you keep on drinking rum, the world will soon be quit of a very dirty scoundrel.
Robert Louis Stevenson

When the wine is in, the wit is out.
Thomas Becon

So fill to me the parting glass. Good night and joy be with you all.
Traditional Irish song

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Ambrose Bierce

This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let's go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.
Ernest Hemingway

Lady Astor: Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
Winston Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Anonymous

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.
P.J. O'Rourke

I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer.
Lady Astor

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk they're sober.
William Butler Yeats

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
Brendan Behan

Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
Irish Saying

When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland.
J. P. Donleavy
From the novel The Ginger Man
 


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