Woody Allen Quotes Quotations, Funny Woody Allen Quotes Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - May 5, 2008:
"I am so sorry. I had no idea." -- Elizabeth Fritzl, mother of the girl kept prisoner in a basement in Austria by her father for 24 years.

"Some of the comments that Rev Wright has made offend me, and I understand why they offend the American people. He does not speak for me. He does not speak for the American people." -- Barack Obama on his old pastor.

"I am sure I had it. It's why men want to bonk everything that moves ." -- Singer Chris de Burgh explaining how a mid-life crisis made him want to have sex with his children's nanny.

Hillary Clinton is talking tough. She said if Israel is ever attacked by Iran, she would obliterate Iran. Although, she does admire the Iranians for stoning adulterers. -- Chatshow host Jay Leno.

Authors: Woody Allen Quotes, Funny Woody Allen Quotes, Famous Sayings

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Death is an acquired trait.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen and His Comedy

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work…I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen and His Comedy

I took a course in speed reading learning to read straight down the middle of the page, and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
Woody Allen
Quote and Unquote

Take the money and run.
Woody Allen
Film title

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen
Selections from the Allen Notebooks, New Yorker

On bisexuality: It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
New York Times

I recently turned sixty. Practically a third of my life is over.
Woody Allen
Sayings of the Week, Observer

My problems all started with my early education. I went to a school for mentally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
Woody Allen

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
Woody Allen

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Woody Allen: American movie director, writer, actor. Born 1935.