Woody Allen Quotes Quotations, Funny Woody Allen Quotes Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - Aug 24, 2010:
"Barack Obama is the worst President in history." -- Ben Quayle, son of former US Vice President.

"He is a bit old." -- Fabio Capello, England soccer coach, saying he doesn't plan to pick David Beckham, 35, for any more competitive matches.

"I am not on the Earth to be bullied by women journalists who envy my freedom, my courage, my talent and my arse. I have a fantastic arse." -- Sinead O'Connor, singer, resents criticism of her recent wedding.

"I'm no Tom Jones but I'm doing better than Nick Clegg." -- UK X Factor finalist Olly Murs, reveals his sexual conquests now number more than 30.

Authors: Woody Allen Quotes, Funny Woody Allen Quotes, Famous Sayings

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A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to sleep with me and she said 'no'.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen Volume Two

I am at two with nature.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor

Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him 'Be fruitful, and multiply.' But not in those words.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor

I wanted to be an arch-criminal as a child, before I discovered I was too short.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor

I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they rent out my room.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen and His Comedy

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen and His Comedy

I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
Woody Allen
Play it Again Sam

My brain - it's my second favorite organ.
Woody Allen
Sleeper

Q. Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything?
A. Yes, for twenty-four hours I refused to eat grapes.
Woody Allen
Sleeper

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Woody Allen: American movie director, writer, actor. Born 1935.