Woody Allen Quotes Quotations, Funny Woody Allen Quotes Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - May 5, 2008:
"I am so sorry. I had no idea." -- Elizabeth Fritzl, mother of the girl kept prisoner in a basement in Austria by her father for 24 years.

"Some of the comments that Rev Wright has made offend me, and I understand why they offend the American people. He does not speak for me. He does not speak for the American people." -- Barack Obama on his old pastor.

"I am sure I had it. It's why men want to bonk everything that moves ." -- Singer Chris de Burgh explaining how a mid-life crisis made him want to have sex with his children's nanny.

Hillary Clinton is talking tough. She said if Israel is ever attacked by Iran, she would obliterate Iran. Although, she does admire the Iranians for stoning adulterers. -- Chatshow host Jay Leno.

Authors: Woody Allen Quotes, Funny Woody Allen Quotes, Famous Sayings

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A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to sleep with me and she said 'no'.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen Volume Two

I am at two with nature.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor

Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him 'Be fruitful, and multiply.' But not in those words.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor

I wanted to be an arch-criminal as a child, before I discovered I was too short.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor

I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they rent out my room.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen and His Comedy

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
Woody Allen and His Comedy

I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
Woody Allen
Play it Again Sam

My brain - it's my second favorite organ.
Woody Allen
Sleeper

Q. Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything?
A. Yes, for twenty-four hours I refused to eat grapes.
Woody Allen
Sleeper

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Woody Allen: American movie director, writer, actor. Born 1935.