Quotes of the Week - May 5, 2008:
"I am so sorry. I had no idea." -- Elizabeth Fritzl, mother
of the girl kept prisoner in a basement in Austria by her father for 24
years.
"Some of the comments that Rev Wright has made offend me, and I understand
why they offend the American people. He does not speak for me. He does
not speak for the American people." -- Barack Obama on his old pastor.
"I am sure I had it. It's why men want to bonk everything that moves
." -- Singer Chris de Burgh explaining how a mid-life crisis made
him want to have sex with his children's nanny.
Hillary Clinton is talking tough. She said if Israel is ever attacked
by Iran, she would obliterate Iran. Although, she does admire the Iranians
for stoning adulterers. -- Chatshow host Jay Leno.
Authors: Woody Allen Quotes, Funny Woody Allen Quotes, Famous Sayings
Eternal
nothingness is OK if you're dressed for it. Woody Allen Getting Even, 'My Philosophy'
Not
only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends. Woody Allen Getting Even, 'My Philosophy'
The
lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't
get much sleep. Woody Allen Without Feathers, 'The Scrolls'
It's
not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when
it happens. Woody Allen Death
The
thing to remember is that each time of life has its appropriate
rewards, whereas when you're dead it's hard to find the light
switch. The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the
fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought,
particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there
is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know
where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the
few things that can be done as easily lying down. Woody Allen The Early Essays
Money
is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. Woody Allen The Early Essays
I
was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam:
I looked into the soul of another boy. Woody Allen Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor
My
parents were very old world. They come from Brooklyn, which
is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God
and carpeting. Woody Allen Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor
I
am an only child. I have one sister. Woody Allen Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor
If
you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans. Woody Allen
Sex
and the City
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