W. C. Fields Quotes, Famous W. C. Fields Quotes Quotations Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - Nov 10, 2009:
"I wish they caught me six years ago, eight years ago." -- Bernie Madoff, jailed financier and Ponzi schemer, in newly released interview with representatives of the US Securities and Exchange Commission.

"This is all happening because my father didn't buy me a train set as a kid." --Warren Buffett, investor, on his company's $26 billion purchase of Burlington Northern Santa Fe railroad - its biggest deal ever.

"I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears." -- Rihanna, pop singer, on the unprecedented levels of media attention she endured after she was assaulted by former boyfriend Chris Brown in February.

Authors: W. C. Fields Quotes, Famous W. C. Fields Quotes Quotations Sayings

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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields

Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields

Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
W. C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman. Because if you do she'll expect you to keep up to the standard for the rest of your life. And the pace, my friends, is devastating.
W. C. Fields

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
He wanted this on his tombstone

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields

Prayers never bring anything . . . They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. Fields

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had nothing to live on but food and water.
W. C. Fields

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields - American humorist. Born 1880. Died 1946.