W. C. Fields Quotes, Famous W. C. Fields Quotes Quotations Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - November 25, 2008:
"I can't go to my old barber shop now. I've gotta have my barber come to some undisclosed location to cut my hair." -- US President-elect on adjusting to his and his family's new reality and the "certain lonliness to the job" of president.

"Will I be able to have children?" -- Hitler's first question to the doctor who saved his life after a groin injury in the WWI Battle of the Somme. A recently discovered manuscript of a conversation between the doctor and Hitler's priest confirmed the rumor that Hitler lost a testicle in the fight.

"I and others were mistaken early on in saying that the subprime crisis would be contained." -- US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke

Authors: W. C. Fields Quotes, Famous W. C. Fields Quotes Quotations Sayings

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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields

Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields

Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
W. C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman. Because if you do she'll expect you to keep up to the standard for the rest of your life. And the pace, my friends, is devastating.
W. C. Fields

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
He wanted this on his tombstone

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields

Prayers never bring anything . . . They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. Fields

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had nothing to live on but food and water.
W. C. Fields

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields - American humorist. Born 1880. Died 1946.