W. C. Fields Quotes, Famous W. C. Fields Quotes Quotations Sayings

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"I can't go to my old barber shop now. I've gotta have my barber come to some undisclosed location to cut my hair." -- US President-elect on adjusting to his and his family's new reality and the "certain lonliness to the job" of president.

"Will I be able to have children?" -- Hitler's first question to the doctor who saved his life after a groin injury in the WWI Battle of the Somme. A recently discovered manuscript of a conversation between the doctor and Hitler's priest confirmed the rumor that Hitler lost a testicle in the fight.

"I and others were mistaken early on in saying that the subprime crisis would be contained." -- US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke

Authors: W. C. Fields Quotes, Famous W. C. Fields Quotes Quotations Sayings

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I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water, fish fuck in it.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water; that's the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields

I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. Fields

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields

I'll be sober tomorrow, but you'll be crazy for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields
In reply to an accusation of drunkenness

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There's no sense being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields - American humorist. Born 1880. Died 1946.