W. C. Fields Quotes, Famous W. C. Fields Quotes Quotations Sayings

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"I go three, maybe four times a year to get tested for sexually transmitted infections and most of the time I don't even need to." -- Singer and TV presenter Kelly Osborne.

Authors: W. C. Fields Quotes, Famous W. C. Fields Quotes Quotations Sayings

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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields

A plumber's idea of Cleopatra .
W. C. Fields
On Mae West

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields

A woman drove me to drink, and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
W. C. Fields

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields

After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
W. C. Fields

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. Fields

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
W. C. Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields - American humorist. Born 1880. Died 1946.