Lois Griffin: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie Griffin: Why don't you burn in hell?
Family Guy |
Lois Griffin: Come on Stewie, don't be afraid. It's just water,
it's not gonna bite.
Stewie Griffin: Shut up! I know it's not going to bite, stupid!
What a stupid thing to say. You drown in it you moron! It doesn't
have to bite you!
Family Guy |
Stewie Griffin: [hitting on some co-eds] I must say, the most
recent campus sporting event was quite spectacular.
Co-ed: Aw. Are you in a fraternity, little boy?
Stewie Griffin: Not yet, but I'm thinking of joining I Felta
Thigh.
Family Guy |
For the love of God, shake me! Shake me like a British nanny!
Stewie Griffin
Family Guy |
Meg Griffin: Everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie Griffin: Hm, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest
and a broken prophylactic?
Family Guy |
Lois Griffin [trying to feed Stewie broccoli airplane style]:
Sweetie, it's broccoli, it's good for you. Now open up for the
airplane.
Stewie Griffin: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn
the Wright brothers!
Lois Griffin: My, aren't we fussy tonight. Okay. No broccoli.
Stewie Griffin: Very well then. L...
[Lois shoves the Broccoli into his mouth. Stewie then spits
it out.]
Stewie Griffin: Who the hell do you think you are?
Lois Griffin: Honey, it's not gonna go away just because you
don't like it.
Stewie Griffin: Well then, my goal becomes clear: The broccoli
must die.
Family Guy |
[watching cheerleaders changing in a locker room] It appears
my wee-wee's been stricken with rigor-mortis.
Stewie Griffin
Family Guy |
I love God. He's so deliciously evil.
Stewie Griffin
Family Guy |
Peter Griffin [trying to potty-train Stewie]: Maybe you don't
have to pee. I'll just give you some beer, it'll run right through
you.
Stewie Griffin: Beautiful. And while we're at it we can light
up a dubey and watch porn.
Peter Griffin: Rea... Really?
Family Guy |
Meg Griffin: Can I be in the play, Mom?
Stewie Griffin: Oh yes, you can be the dumpy teenage girl who
cries backstage because no one finds her attractive.
Family Guy |