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var txtList = new Array()
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. - John Fitzgerald Kennedy<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I love mankind. It's people I can't stand. - Charles Monroe Schultz<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true. - Winston Churchill<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness. - Aristotle<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Mr. Right is coming. But He's in Africa and he's walking. - Oprah Winfrey<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - John Benfield<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>The minute that you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Dancing: the vertical expression of a horizontal desire. - George Bernard Shaw<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork. - Oliver Goldsmith<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies. - Oliver Goldsmith<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>There's no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary. - Brendan Behan<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minute of my life. - George Best<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Woe unto you also, lawyers! for ye lade men with burdens grievous to be borne. - Jesus<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. - David Brent<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall. - Eleanor Roosevelt<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. - Winston Churchill<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. - John Wayne<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. - Brendan Behan<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity. - George Bernard Shaw<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked. - Winston Churchill<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye. - George S. Kaufman<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Hell is full of musical amateurs. - George Bernard Shaw<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I didn't do it. 3. - To your Boss  I like your style. - David Brent<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love. - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I don't know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they terrify me. - Duke of Wellington<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>It is very easy to endure the difficulties of one's enemies. It is the successes of one's friends that are hard to bear. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>The realisation that one is to be hanged in the morning concentrates the mind wonderfully. - Samuel Johnson<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing. - Vince Lombardi<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I don't like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that. - Bill Shankly<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening. - Alexander Woollcott<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I often take exercise. Why only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>The Americans will always do the right thing . . . After they've exhausted all the alternatives. - Winston Churchill<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I exercise extreme self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - W. C. Fields<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I have made an important discovery…that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it is more likely to be female. - Desmond Morris<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Nothing succeeds like excess. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right. - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. - Spike Milligan<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Never give a sucker an even break. - W. C. Fields<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich <br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials. - Ronald Knox<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. - W.C. Fields<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>" 
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I have nothing to declare except my genius. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Give me chastity and continence, but not yet! - Saint Augustine<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom. - Joan Rivers <br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I drink therefore I am - W.C. Fields<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>When you see what some women marry, you realise how they must hate to work for a living. - Helen Rowland<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Thank God I'm an atheist. - Luis Bunuel<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. - Jilly Cooper<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one that's mad. - Helen Rowland<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden…It ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. - Joan Rivers<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?  Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men. - Mae West<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house. - George Burns<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life. Now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming. - Homer Simpson<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. - Will Rogers<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Women have a much better time than men in this world. There are far more things forbidden to them. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>My wife has a slight impediment in her speech - every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly. - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. - Joseph Heller in Catch-22<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Intellectuals are like the mafia; they only kill their own. - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>Chanel No. 5. - Marilyn Monroe, asked what she wore in bed<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>When I came back to Dublin I was court marshaled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. - Oscar Wilde<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"
txtList[txtList.length]="<B>Funny Quote of the Day</B><br>If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans. - Woody Allen<br><small><i>More <a href=http://www.allgreatquotes.com/funny_quotes.shtml>Funny Quotes</a></i></small>"

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