Lois Griffin: Peter, my God, you look terrible. What happened?
Peter Griffin [slowly]: I was raped.
Lois Griffin [chuckles]: What?
Peter Griffin: Dr. Hartman violated me. He took my innocence.
Lois Griffin [chuckles harder]: W-What?
[Peter whispers in her ear]
Lois Griffin: Peter, that's a prostate exam. It's an important
part of a physical for a man your age.
Peter Griffin: YOU SOUND JUST LIKE HIM! [runs off, sobbing]
Lois Griffin: Fucking idiot.
Family Guy |
Lois [finding note in Chris's pocket]: Huh, what's this? You
know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's
pocket. She's more respectful than that.
Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.
Family Guy |
Lois Griffin: And you know what? I'm gonna take that chance
my father never let me take when I was younger. I'm gonna become
a model!
Peter Griffin: Hey, that's fantastic, Lois! And I'll pleasure
myself to your photos.
Chris Griffin: Me too!
Meg Griffin: Me too!
Peter Griffin: Oh! Oh! God! Meg! That's sick! That's your mother!
Meg Griffin [shrugs]: I'm just trying to fit in.
Peter Griffin: Get out! Get out of this house!
[Meg doesn't move. Peter punches wall.]
Peter Griffin: I SAID GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE NOW!
[Meg runs out and Peter closes the door.]
Peter Griffin: That's a good about your modeling, Lois.
Family Guy |
Lois Griffin: Peter, why are we stopped?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...
Lois Griffin: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!
Peter Griffin: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I,
I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna
have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them...
I'll feel like a fatty.
Family Guy |
Bonnie Swanson: Somebody save him, he can't swim!
Peter Griffin: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois Griffin: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
Peter Griffin: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
Family Guy |
Lois Griffin: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are
two pink lines...
Peter Griffin: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't
afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie,
Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner,
Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian Griffin: Peter those aren't your kids, that's the Nick-at-Night
lineup.
Peter Griffin: Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian Griffin: That's Street Fighter.
Peter Griffin: Red, blue, green...
Brian Griffin: Those are colors.
Family Guy |
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