Quotes of the Week - Feb 2, 2010:
"If vibrators could light the barbie and kill spiders in the bathtub,
would we need men at all." -- Kathy Lette, novelist, wonders whether
marriage has had its day.
"There'll be a population of demented old people, like an invasion
of terrible immigrants." -- Martin Amis, novelist, who called for
euthanasia booths on street corners in Britain where elderly people
could end their lives "with a Martini and a medal".
"I'd rather be a really good one-term President than a mediocre
two-term President." -- US President Obama, vows to continue to
press for health care reform.
Topic: Jewish Quotes - Famous Jewish
Quotes, Sayings, Jew Quotes
God, I know we are your chosen people, but couldn't you choose
somebody else for a change? Shalom Aleichem
Let me tell you the one thing I have against Moses. He took
us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the
one place in the Middle East that has no oil! Golda Meir
I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs,
dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same
food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases,
healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter
and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not
bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us,
do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?
If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. Shylock From The Merchant of Venice by William
Shakespeare.
If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will
claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen
of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say
that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew. Albert Einstein
Who hates the Jews more than the Jew? Henry Miller
He who hears this name (God) from a Jew must inform the authorities,
or else throw sow dung at him when he sees him and chase him
away. Martin Luther
What one Christian does is his own responsibility, what one
Jew does is thrown back at all Jews. Anne Frank
My father never lived to see his dream come true of an all-Yiddish-speaking
Canada. David Steinberg
I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . . they
have no holidays. Henny Youngman
The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and
skullcap will not bar a man from the White House, unless,
of course, the man is Jewish. Jules Farber
Even if you are Catholic, if you live in New York you're Jewish.
If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish
even if you are Jewish. Lenny Bruce
Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with
the will of the Almighty Creator: - by defending myself against
the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord. Adolf Hitler
Yes, I am a Jew, and when the ancestors of the Right Honorable
gentleman were brutal savages in an unknown island, mine were
priests in the temple of Solomon. Benjamin Disraeli
The Jew has always been a people with definite racial characteristics
and never a religion. Adolf Hitler
Above all, this country is our own. Nobody has to get up in
the morning and worry what his neighbors think of him. Being
a Jew is no problem here. Golda Meir
It is extremely difficult for a Jew to be converted, for how
can he bring himself to believe in the divinity of - another
Jew? Heinrich Heine
Pessimism is a luxury that a Jew can never allow himself. Golda Meir
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name? Billy Connolly
I am neither Jew nor Gentile, Mahomedan nor Theist; I am but
a member of the human family. Frances Wright
The white, the Hispanic, the black, the Arab, the Jew, the
woman, the Native American, the small farmer, the businessperson,
the environmentalist, the peace activist, the young, the old,
the lesbian, the gay and the disabled make up the American
quilt. Jesse Jackson
I'm not really a Jew; just Jew-ish, not the whole hog. Jonathan Miller
Being a Jew, one learns to believe in the reality of cruelty
and one learns to recognize indifference to human suffering
as a fact. Andrew Dworkin
HEBREW, n. A male Jew, as distinguished from the Shebrew,
an altogether superior creation. Andrew Bierce The Devil's Dictionary.
To be a Jew is a destiny. Vicky Baum
Israel has created a new image of the Jew in the world - the
image of a working and an intellectual people, of a people
that can fight with heroism. David Ben-Gurion
If I had to baptize a Jew, I would take him to the bridge
of the Elbe, hang a stone around his neck and push him over
with the words "I baptize thee in the name of Abraham". Martin Luther
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami
on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. Milton Berle
A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading
a Nazi manual. Gloria Steinem
If you ever forget you're a Jew, a Gentile will remind you. Bernard Malamud
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry
a Gentile, women shave on Saturday and most especially never
to shave a Gentile woman on Saturday. Woody Allen
Catholics believe life begins at conception. Atheists believe
that life begins at birth. Jews believe that life begins when
the children leave home and the dog dies. Author Unknown
A baptised Jew is a circumcised Christian. German Proverb
These three are the marks of a Jew - a tender heart, self-respect,
and charity. Hebrew Proverb
Hi, Mrs. Collier. I'm a Jew now. How are you? Sex and the City Spoken by character Charlotte in the TV
series.
America / rather, the United States / seems to me to be the
Jew among the nations. It is resourceful, adaptable, maligned,
envied, feared, imposed upon. It is warm-hearted, over-friendly;
quick-witted, lavish, colorful; given to extravagant speech
and gestures; its people are travelers and wanderers by nature,
moving, shifting, restless; swarming in Fords, in ocean liners;
craving entertainment; volatile. The chuckle among the nations
of the world. Edna Ferber
A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that
escapes your lips will not return. Jewish Proverb
A mother understands what a child does not say. Jewish Proverb
A pessimist, confronted with two bad choices, chooses both.
Jewish Proverb
As he thinks in his heart, so he is. Jewish Proverb
As you teach, you learn. Jewish Proverb
Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house. Jewish Proverb
Do not be wise in words - be wise in deeds. Jewish Proverb
Don't be sweet, lest you be eaten up; don't be bitter, lest
you be spewed out. Jewish Proverb
Don't live in a town where there are no doctors. Jewish Proverb
Don't look for more honor than your learning merits. Jewish Proverb
First mend yourself, and then mend others. Jewish Proverb
He that can't endure the bad, will not live to see the good.
Jewish Proverb
If charity cost nothing, the world would be full of philanthropists.
Jewish Proverb
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows. Jewish Proverb
If not for fear, sin would be sweet. Jewish Proverb
If the rich could hire the poor to die for them, the poor
would make a very nice living. Jewish Proverb
Make sure to be in with your equals if you're going to fall
out with your superiors. Jewish Proverb
Not to have felt pain is not to have been human. Jewish Proverb
Rejoice not at thine enemy's fall - but don't rush to pick
him up either. Jewish Proverb
What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your
mouth. Jewish Proverb
Worries go down better with soup than without. Jewish Proverb
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to. Henny Youngman
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend
over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. Joan Rivers
I marvel at the resilience of the Jewish people. Their best
characteristic is their desire to remember. No other people
has such an obsession with memory. Elie Wiesel
Jews and homosexuals are the outstanding creative minorities
in contemporary urban culture. Creative, that is, in the truest
sense: they are creators of sensibilities. The two pioneering
forces of modern sensibility are Jewish moral seriousness
and homosexual aestheticism and irony. Susan Sontag
One million Arabs are not worth a Jewish fingernail. Rabbi Yaacov Perrin
In Jewish history there are no coincidences. Elie Wiesel
To sing it right, Franco, you have to be Jewish. Richard Tucker To Franco Corelli when asked to explain
his success with Puccini.
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. Henny Youngman
With satanic joy in his face, the black-haired Jewish youth
lurks in wait for the unsuspecting girl whom he defiles with
his blood, thus stealing her from her people. Adolf Hitler
The Hebrews have done more to civilize men than any other
nation. If I were an atheist, and believed in blind eternal
fate, I should still believe that fate had ordained the Jews
to be the most essential instrument for civilizing the nations. John Adams
From the outset, the Christian was the theorizing Jew, the
Jew is therefore the practical Christian, and the practical
Christian has become a Jew again. Karl Marx
Historically the profoundest meaning of Passover is something
which sets Judaism apart from other religions. It marks the
birth of a nation. Out of a mass of slaves, Moses fashioned
a nation and gave them a faith. Philip S. Bernstein
Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable.
So, for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated
one to be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time
I was five I knew I was that one. Mel Brooks
I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding
the joy of Hanukkah. George W. Bush
Yes, I am a Jew, and when the ancestors of the Right Honorable
gentleman were brutal savages in an unknown island, mine were
priests in the temple of Solomon. Benjamin Disraeli Reply to a taunt by Daniel O'Connell.
The Jews are the living embodiment of the minority, the constant
reminder of what duties societies owe their minorities, whoever
they might be. Abba Eban
The Jews are returning to their land of unbelief. They are
spiritually blind and desperately in need of their Messiah
and Savior. Jerry Falwell
I don't like 'Ebrews. They work harder; they're more sober;
they're honest, and they're everywhere. John Galsworthy
And the founder of Christianity made no secret indeed of his
estimation of the Jewish people. When He found it necessary,
He drove those enemies of the human race out of the Temple
of God. Adolph Hitler
Passover affirms the great truth that liberty is the inalienable
right of every human being. Morris Joseph
We are at fault for not slaying them (the Jews). Martin Luther
Jews and papists are ungodly wretches; they are two stockings
made of one piece of cloth. Martin Luther
The Jews are the most miserable people on earth. They are
plagued everywhere, and scattered about all countries, having
no certain resting place. They sit as on a wheelbarrow, without
a country, people or government . . . but they are rightly
served, for seeing they refused have Christ and his gospel,
instead of freedom they must have servitude. Martin Luther
What is the worldly religion of the Jew? Huckstering. What
is his worldly God? Money. Karl Marx
It's time to say that America is a better place to be a Jew
than Jerusalem. If there ever was a promised land, we Jewish
Americans are living in it. Rabbi Jacob Neusner
The Jews are irreligious, atheistic, immoral bunch of bastards. Richard Nixon
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