How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?
Jacques Plante

Hockey is murder on ice.
Jim Murray

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records.
Author Unknown

I love those hockey moms. You know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick.
Sarah Palin

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone.
Author Unknown

We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor.
Bobby Clarke

High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing... everything else is just figure skating.
Author Unknown

A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.
Jimmy Cannon

Four out of five dentists surveyed recommended playing hockey.
Author Unknown

I'm not dumb enough to be a goalie.
Brett Hull

Give blood. Play hockey.
Author Unknown

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital.
Brad Park

When Hell freezes over, I'll play hockey there too.
Author Unknown