Dilbert Quotes, Famous Dilbert Quotes Quotations Dilbert Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - Oct 5, 2008:
"The reality is we're in an urgent situation and the consequences will get bigger each day we do not act." -- US President George Bush, on efforts to resurrect the $700 billion financial rescue package aimed at stabilizing financial markets.

"Sixty-seven percent of the Republican Conference decided to put political ideology ahead of the best interest of our great nation." -- U.S. Congressman James E. Clyburn, a Democrat from South Carolina, after the House voted against the $700-billion bailout package.

"I go three, maybe four times a year to get tested for sexually transmitted infections and most of the time I don't even need to." -- Singer and TV presenter Kelly Osborne.

Authors: Dilbert Quotes, Famous Dilbert Quotes Quotations Sayings

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The Dogbert method of eliminating guilt is simple. All of your problems are caused by invisible people named Juan and Cindy. All you have to do is find them and kill them.
Dilbert

The entire economic system depends on the fact that people are willing to do unpleasant things in return for money.
Dilbert

The longer you work here, diverse it gets.
Dilbert

The universe is mostly empty space, and so is your job.
Dilbert

The world is full of attractive people whom you will never meet. Your only hope for romance is to lower your standards until co-workers look good.
- Dogbert, "Dating Co-Workers"
Dilbert

There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as "nutty methods." Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time."
Dilbert

There are two essential rules to management. One, the customer is always right; and two, they must be punished for their arrogance.
Dilbert

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Dilbert

We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
Dilbert

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
Dilbert

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Dilbert: Cartoon created by Scott Adams, American cartoonist, born 1957.