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Quotes of the Week - Nov 10, 2009:
"I wish they caught me six years ago, eight years ago." -- Bernie Madoff, jailed financier and Ponzi schemer, in newly released interview with representatives of the US Securities and Exchange Commission.

"This is all happening because my father didn't buy me a train set as a kid." --Warren Buffett, investor, on his company's $26 billion purchase of Burlington Northern Santa Fe railroad - its biggest deal ever.

"I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears." -- Rihanna, pop singer, on the unprecedented levels of media attention she endured after she was assaulted by former boyfriend Chris Brown in February.

Authors: Dilbert Quotes, Famous Dilbert Quotes Quotations Sayings

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The Dogbert method of eliminating guilt is simple. All of your problems are caused by invisible people named Juan and Cindy. All you have to do is find them and kill them.
Dilbert

The entire economic system depends on the fact that people are willing to do unpleasant things in return for money.
Dilbert

The longer you work here, diverse it gets.
Dilbert

The universe is mostly empty space, and so is your job.
Dilbert

The world is full of attractive people whom you will never meet. Your only hope for romance is to lower your standards until co-workers look good.
- Dogbert, "Dating Co-Workers"
Dilbert

There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as "nutty methods." Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time."
Dilbert

There are two essential rules to management. One, the customer is always right; and two, they must be punished for their arrogance.
Dilbert

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Dilbert

We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
Dilbert

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
Dilbert

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Dilbert: Cartoon created by Scott Adams, American cartoonist, born 1957.