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Authors: Funny Barack Obama Quotes, Funny Obama Quotes, Sayings
Related Quotes:   Obama Quotes  Stupid Obama Quotes  Victory Speech 2008  Inauguration Speech 2009
On Jon Stewart's 'The Daily Show', in satellite interview, October 29 2008:
Stewart: Are you concerned in some respects, you know, and I don't even know how to bring this up. Obviously your mother is from Kansas. She's a white woman. Your father, African. Are you concerned that you may go into the voting booth and ...
Obama: I won't know what to do.
Stewart: Your white half will all of a sudden decide, "I can't do this."
Obama: That's a problem ...
But I have to say tonight's venue isn't really what I'm used to. I was originally told we'd be able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium, and can somebody tell me what happened to the Greek columns that I requested?
Barack Obama
At Al Smith Dinner 2008.
I do love the Waldorf-Astoria, though. You know, I hear that from the doorstep you can see all the way to the Russian tea room.
Barack Obama
Poking fun at Sarah Palin, at Al Smith Dinner 2008.
Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor-El to save the Planet Earth. Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for "That One." And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president. If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it's possible that I'm a little too awesome.
Barack Obama
On his image, at Al Smith Dinner 2008.
Yesterday, John McCain actually said that if he's president that he'll take on, and I quote, "the old boys network in Washington." Now I'm not making this up. This is somebody who's been in Congress for twenty-six years, who put seven of the most powerful Washington lobbyists in charge of his campaign. And now he tells us that he's the one who's gonna take on the old boys network. The old boys network? In the McCain campaign that's called a staff meeting. Come, on!
Barack Obama
On his Republican opponent during 2008 US presidential election campaign.
Sen. McCain bragged about how as chairman of the Commerce Committee in the Senate, he had oversight of every part of the economy. Well, all I can say to Sen. McCain is, "Nice job. Nice job." Where is he getting these lines? The lobbyists running his campaign? ... I'm not making this up, you can't make this up. It's like a 'Saturday Night Live' routine.
Barack Obama
On his Republican opponent during 2008 US presidential election campaign.
I mean, you know, as somebody who used to be on the cover of Time and Newsweek, you know. Those were the days.
Barack Obama
Musing with David Letterman about the Sarah Palin phenomenon after her surprise selection as the Republican US vice-presidential candidate.
I've been called worse on the basketball court.
Barack Obama
On attacks against him at the 2008 Republican Convention.
Well, if you've got book sales of $25 million, then you qualify.
Barack Obama
After being asked by Rev. Rick Warren, best-selling author of 'The Purpose-Driven Life', to define "rich", and referencing Warren's book, at Saddleback Church Forum.
That's what he talked about yesterday, "I want to drill here. I want to drill now." I don't know where he was standing. I think he was in a building somewhere.
Barack Obama
On Republican US presidential candidate John McCain's energy plan.
You notice that people who've been in Washington too long, they don't talk like ordinary folks,. We had this debate in Las Vegas, and somebody asked me, "What are your weaknesses?" So I said, "Well, you know, I don't keep track of paper that well, I'm always losing paper, my desk is a mess." And then they asked the next two candidates. And one candidate says, "Well, my biggest weakness is I'm just so passionate about helping poor people." And then the other one says, "I'm just so impatient to help the American people solve their problems." So then I realize well, I wish I'd gone last and then I would have known.. I'm stupid that way, I thought that when they asked what your biggest weakness was, they asked what your biggest weakness was. And now I know that my biggest weakness is I like to help old ladies across the street.
Barack Obama
Interview with WIP, March 20, 2008.
Now that's my phone buzzing there. I don't want you to think I'm getting fresh or anything.
Barack Obama
Posing for picture with supporters in Indiana, when he apparently felt his phone start to vibrate in his pocket, against which one woman was closely pressed.
They say I need to be seasoned; they say I need to be stewed. They say, 'We need to boil all the hope out of him -- like us -- and then he'll be ready.
Barack Obama
On US presidential campaign trail, January 2008.
Three words: Vice President Oprah.
Barack Obama
Number 1 item from Obama's Top Ten Campaign Promises when he appeared as himself on 'Saturday Night Live' as part of a skit that featured Hillary Clinton dressed as a witch at a Halloween party, January 2008.
But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.
Barack Obama
Speech on race, March 18, 2008.
Ok, look, you know, when I was a kid, I inhaled frequently. That was the point.
Barack Obama
Confessing to drug use to audience of US magazine editors, November 2006.
It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.
Barack Obama
CNN/YouTube debate, July 23, 2007.
I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party. We're not kissing cousins.
Barack Obama
On revelations that he and Dick Cheney were eighth cousins, to Jay Leno on 'The Tonight Show' 2007.
Hillary is not the first politician in Washington to declare "Mission Accomplished" a little too soon.
Barack Obama
To 'Tonight Show' host Jay Leno 2007, on trailing rival Hillary Clinton in race for his party's nomination for US presidency. He was referring to President George Bush's 2003 speech in which he stood beneath a banner with those words and declared the end of major combat in Iraq.
I would have to investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities, you know, and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother.
Barack Obama
On whether Bill Clinton was "our first black president", said during 2008 Democratic debate between party's US presidential candidates.
Barack Obama: American politician. Born August 4, 1961. Elected 44th President of USA November 4, 2008.

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