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Topics - Love - Funny
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10 Lists - Quotes of Day - 2012
Quotes
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Quotes of the Week - January 17, 2012:
"Our campaign is about more than replacing a President. It is about
saving the soul of America." -- Republican Mitt Romney, US presidential
hopeful, after winning New Hampshire primary.
"Remember to look up at the stars and not down to your feet. Try
to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe
exist. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always
something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don't just
give up." -- Professor Stephen Hawking on his 70th birthday.
"American children had never seen a moving bosom before."
-- Actress Celia Imrie on the alarm caused by her low-cut dress in Nanny
McPhee.
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| Topic: Animal Quotes - Funny Animal
Quotes, Quotations, Sayings about Animals & Pets |
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Animal Quotes 5 6  |
| Related Quotes: Dogs Horses Birds Cats |
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man
because he was disappointed in the monkey.
Mark Twain
A cat will look down to a man. A dog will look up to a man.
But a pig will look you straight in the eye and see his equal.
Winston Churchill
If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he
make them out of meat?
John Cleese
Fork, n. An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting
dead animals into the mouth. Formerly the knife was employed
for this purpose, and by many worthy persons is still thought
to have many advantages over the other tool, which, however,
they do not altogether reject, but use to assist in charging
the knife. The immunity of these persons from swift and awful
death is one of the most striking proofs of God's mercy to those
that hate Him.
Ambrose Bierce
The Devil's Dictionary.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
John Benfield
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown
To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you .
. . They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing
in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get
tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.
Bill Bryson
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always
say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think
my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
Ellen DeGeneres
Kissing originates from animals sniffing each other.
Ingelore Ebberfeld
Many years ago when an adored dog died, a great friend, a bishop,
said to me, "You must always remember that, as far as the
Bible is concerned, God only threw the humans out of Paradise."
Bruce Foyle
The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from
or fight its enemies is lunch.
Michael Friedman
Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem
which he has to solve.
Erich Fromm
New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three
million of whom think they are human.
(Dame Edna) Barry Humphries
It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them
make their experiments on journalists and politicians.
Henrik Ibsen
Cats and monkeys, monkeys and cats; all human life is there.
Henry James
A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.
"You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she
sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know
there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."
Jake Johansen
My favorite animal is steak.
Fran Lebowitz
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
George Orwell
Animal Farm.
Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her
closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass
who pays for everything.
Paris Hilton
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets
at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a
dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon,
and a cat that comes home late at night.
Maria Corelli
You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
Jim Samuels
There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus
in me that wants to wallow in the mud.
Carl Sandburg
Animals are my friends, and I don't eat my friends.
George Bernard Shaw
The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion
for lists of "Ten Best".
H. Allen Smith
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
Mark Twain
The thing that differentiates man from animals is money.
Gertrude Stein
Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat
pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one? Don't eat pork. God
has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to
outsmart everybody?
Jon Stewart
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability
to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.
That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates
us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
Jeff Stilson
Please do not feed the squirrels. If you feed the squirrels,
they'll become overweight, and prone to disease. Their population
will grow, and they'll lose their ability to forage for food
on their own. They will expect you to feed them and will attack
you if you don't. They'll become like little welfare recipients,
and you wouldn't want to do this to them.
Sign in Rocky Mountain National Park
Heart attacks - God's revenge for eating his little animal friends.
Author Unknown
If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many
dead rabbits on the highway?
Author Unknown |
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