Funny Work Quotes, Funny Sayings about Work

Our side-splitting, outrageously funny book on sale at -
Amazon.Com
Barnes & Noble

AUTHORS by last name: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Topics - Love - Funny - Friendship - Life - Literary - Top 10 Lists - Quotes of Day - 2012 Quotes

Quotes of the Week - May 15, 2012:
"His timing was perfect: As women's hair was liberated, so were their lives." -- Linda Wells, Allure magazine Editor-in-Chief, describing Vidal Sassoon, the late iconic hairstylist, as a feminist pioneer due to the haircuts he created for women in 1960s.

"It is important for me personally to go ahead and affirm that same-sex couples should be able to get married." -- Barack Obama, U.S. president, becoming the first sitting American head of state to declare his support for gay marriage.

"Above all else, we both agree that President Obama must be defeated. The task will not be easy." -- Rick Santorum, former Republican presidential candidate, endorsing onetime rival Mitt Romney.

Topics: Funny Work Quotes, Funny Sayings about Work

Work Quotes 1 - 2

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?
Edgar Bergen

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
Muhammad Ali

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen

When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
Helen Rowland
Reflections of a Bachelor Girl.

No laborer in the world is expected to work for room, board, and loveexcept the housewife.
Letty Cottin Pogrebin

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.
Aristotle

It is awfully hard work doing nothing.
Oscar Wilde
The Importance of Being Earnest.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Drew Carey

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Charles Lamb

All I’ve ever wanted was a honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
Steve Martin
As Bilko in Sgt. Bilko movie.

Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.
Don Herold

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller

Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
Ambrose Bierce

I work hard at being idle.
Oscar Wilde

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin

We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A clock.
Dave Allen

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Erma Bombeck

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
Bill Gates

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Ogden Nash

We live in the age of the over-worked, and under-educated; the age in which people are so industrious that they become absolutely stupid.
Oscar Wilde
The Critic as Artist.

I never work. Work does age you so.
Quentin Crisp

The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important.
Milo Bloom

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies.’
Phyllis Diller

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K. Jerome

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas Edison

Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
Oscar Wilde

If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.
Lane Kirkland

Work is much more fun than fun.
Noël Coward

The harder I work the luckier I get.
Samuel Goldwyn

I never put off till tomorrow what I can possibly do the day after.
Oscar Wilde

It is better to wear out than to rust out.
Richard Cumberland

Work Quotes 1 - 2

Check out our hilarious
2320 Funniest Quotes

Get Quotes of Day on:
Facebook Twitter

Quotes and Pictures NEW

People I Can't Stand

Life is Slippery...

The Good Sex Guide