Lois Griffin Quotes, famous Lois Griffin Quotes, Lois Griffin Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - March 16, 2010:
"Listen, he's a nice person, but he couldn't sell watermelons if you gave him the state troopers to flag down traffic." -- Former CBS newsd anchor Dan Rather on Barack Obama.

"A ban on eating would show China has reached a new level of civilization." --Chinese professor Chang Jiwen on China considering making the eating cats and dogs illegal.

"We used to hustle on over the border for health care...And I think, isn't that kind of ironic now." -- Sarah Palin, former governer of Alaska, admits her family used to go to Canada for medical treatment when she was a child. Canada has a single-payer system, which Palin opposes.

Authors: Lois Griffin Quotes, Famous Lois Griffin Quotes, Sayings

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Lois Griffin: Peter! You're bribing your daughter with a car?
Peter Griffin: Aw, c'mon Lois, isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?
Family Guy

Peter Griffin: We all know that no women anywhere wants to have sex with anyone and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is - is just bogus.
Lois Griffin: Ah, he is so right on. Women are such teases. That's why I went back to men.
Family Guy

Lois Griffin: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome any obstacle.
Peter Griffin: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team!
Brian Griffin: What the hell are you talking about?
Family Guy

Lois Griffin: Honey, what do you say we uh...christen these new sheets, huh?
Peter: Why Lois Griffin, you naughty girl.
Lois Griffin: Hehehe...that's me.
Peter Griffin: You dirty hustler.
Lois Griffin: Hehehehe...
Peter Griffin: You filthy, stinky prostitute.
Lois Griffin: Aha, ok I get it...
Peter Griffin: You foul, venereal disease carrying, street walking whore.
Lois Griffin: Alright, that's enough!
Family Guy

[At the grocery store]
Man: Wow, Lois Griffin, Hey, I love your act! Nice melons.
Peter Griffin: Now listen pal!
Lois Griffin: Peter, I'm holding melons.
Peter Griffon: Oh
Man: And her hooters ain't bad either.
Peter Griffon: Now hold on a second.
Lois Griffin: Peter! I'm holding hooters!
Peter Griffin: Oh, sorry.
Man: No problem. [pause] Man: Your wife's hot.
Peter Griffin: Alright that's it!
Family Guy

Lois Griffin: Peter, there's a hooker on the bed!
Hooker: Hi.
Peter Griffin: Stand perfectly still Lois, their vision is based on movement.
[Pause]
Hooker: Where'd you go?
Family Guy

Lois Griffin: What's going on down here?
Stewie Griffin: Oh, we're playing house.
Lois Griffin: That boy's all tied up.
Stewie Griffin: Roman Polanski's house.
Family Guy

Lois Griffin: I care about the size of your penis as much as you care about the size of my breasts.
Peter Griffin: Oh my God! [runs off crying]
Family Guy

Lois Griffin: Peter tell Chris that women are not objects!
Peter Griffin: Your mother's right Chris, listen to what it says.
Family Guy

Lois Griffin: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie Griffin: Why don't you burn in hell?
Family Guy

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Lois Griffin is character in American animated television series Family Guy. The series is about fictional Griffin family in Rhode Island. It was created by Seth MacFarlane for FOX in 1999.